5 things I learned about my family in Rome
It's amazing that I had to go all the way to Rome to notice such simple regularities that govern our family. The daily hustle and bustle of home - work - home meant that I had blinders on my eyes, which immediately fell off when I left this rush for 7 days.
1. Mikołaj doesn't like changes
The lady from kindergarten had told me about this before, but I admit, I looked at it with a grain of salt, because I didn't notice anything like that in our everyday, fast and planned life.
When we were mixed up in Rome, for the first 3 days we left the apartment, we walked in various directions. Until the day when we bought tickets, thanks to which we could travel by buses for 4 days, so for 5 days in a row, leaving the house, we turned right to the stop. When on the 6th day we did not go to the stop anymore and went left, Mikołaj strongly protested. There was crying and tears, no arguments appealed to him at the moment - this was the moment when everything started to come together for me, when I saw for the first time that changes brought about fear in Santa.
Then I noticed that he really missed home. Behind the daily rhythm.
I noticed that due to the fact that so far we have always been on vacation to 4-5 star hotels with swimming pools, playgrounds in the hotel and outside, with full board, it took Santa days many days to understand that our holidays look different this time , and he also had to learn to derive real joy from this other form of vacation, find himself on a vacation unfilled with attractions. Today, the biggest attraction is hiding in the closet and a robot outfit made of cardboard, but it took him a long time.
This knowledge made me realize that even the smallest rituals in our holiday (and not only) life can help Santa find himself in a new situation and you know what? It works. Getting up, having breakfast together, going to the store, ice cream and a walk for several hours are our rituals, which in the right order allow us to vacation in greater peace, without frequent bursts of crying and with greater satisfaction of Santa. Starting each exit with a right turn makes Mikołaj learn the road and look forward to every recognized building, which gives him a sense of security again.
2. I don't like changes
If someone had told me that before leaving, or during the first few days of my stay here, I would have laughed out loud. After all, I love changes! Since I was in high school, on the occasion of my 18th birthday, which fell at the end of the school year, in addition to my certificate, I brought home ... papers from school, which, as an adult, I could take without my parents' consent - and without their knowledge! Nobody believed in my step, not even the school - the tutor entered my name in the school journal, as every year, although I was not a formal student of the school anymore. And I never went back to her. I chose a school in another city, to which I commuted every day by bus and train, and I did not miss a single day, although in the previous high school I had a problem to appear at school 5 times a week. Then I fell in love with changes, I felt my driving force and the energy they give me. So how is it possible that I don't like changes after all?
It was in Rome that I understood that I only like those changes whose driving force is myself, but I deal with external control changes that I did not initiate or which I do not want. I understood that all fears in my life were caused by situations that did not depend on me.
This valuable knowledge is new opportunities for me today, it is new opportunities and a huge subject to learn - to acknowledge my powerlessness towards things that I have no influence on at the moment, so as not to let them ruin my own well-being, enthusiasm or self-esteem.
3. Maximizing separation anxiety
For some time, when I go out without Maks, for example to work, when I come home I tiptoe so that he doesn't hear me right away, to at least wash his hands before he sees me - because then nothing matters to him there is crying and her arms are stretched out towards me.
In Rome, I realized that this is also the case when I spend my time with him 24/7. Even when I disappear behind the kitchen wall, Maksio cries the same. It dawned on me that 7-9 months is the age when separation anxiety appears in the Child. Noticing and naming this phenomenon allowed us to understand why Maksio behaves in this way, understand that it is a natural stage in the child's development and ... to get rid of such great remorse caused by the fact that I am not always with Maks 24 hours a day.
This knowledge allowed me to play with him in such a way as to support his development - for example, hiding behind a curtain or a pram shed - learning that although we do not see something, it does not mean that it is not there or it will not be there soon. Just because Mom disappears doesn't mean she's gone and won't be coming back.
4. I love movement
You often ask me how I exercise, that I managed to lose not only kilos after pregnancy, but to get back to weight from high school, and I am ashamed to answer that I do not exercise, but changed only eating habits. I would like to answer that I'm super fit and every day, instead of regaining consciousness with my nose in the coffee every morning, I wake up like a lark and run around the estate. But none of these things. My days in Gdynia are filled with tasks from dawn to late night hours, my day divided into work and family life is planned almost to the minute and unfortunately there are usually no such luxuries in the plans as everyday long walks or the desire for any run.
This rush made me forget how fantastic walking makes me feel! How wonderful it is to travel 10-15 kilometers a day, pushing a stroller, walking next to my husband, who is also pushing the stroller, and our children grab their hands. How wonderful it is to leave the house for the day, no computers, almost no internet, no constant phone calls and e-mails, walking and being 100% with your family, making silly faces for photos, smudging with ice cream and sharing the last piece of dry bread . Run in soap bubbles, ride the bus, look for shade under the trees, enjoy a child's nap and chase prams, sing loudly the original versions of "Despacito" and smile at passers-by.
I never want to forget it again.
5. My husband is a real partner
It wasn't until I was away that I noticed how many things Wojtek was taking in every day. It wasn't until the apartment changed that I could see that there was always toilet paper in the new cupboard, and a paper towel in the kitchen, like the laundry I had forgotten long ago, and candles were lit in the bathroom so as not to wake Maks up when he sleeps (we have a bathroom in the bedroom). Every day in this rush I am used to certain things, not only I underestimate them, but the worst thing is that I just can't see them anymore.
Arriving in Rome showed me how fantastic a partnership we create. I always say that my husband stands behind me, thanks to whom I can grow (and write this post, because it is he who now gives Maks a pacifier when he wakes up), but today I feel it with all my life.
Only 10 days are behind us, and I already see the huge impact of our monthly move to Rome, I can't wait to see what I will discover in the next 3 weeks.
Or maybe it occurred to you today, which you do not appreciate every day? Maybe you have some proven ways for everyday relaxation, a moment of reflection in everyday, home life? I will listen with pleasure.