It's about courage, i.e. the blog’s 8th birthday

courage lifestyle blog

I used to write for you under the name From under the blanket - anonymously. Today I am not ashamed of writing and I proudly sign photos and texts with my name, and my blog has become an important part of my life. This path, however, was not easy. What was I afraid of? How did it happen that you know my name, surname and face today?

 

I've never celebrated a blog's birthday - I just forgot about it. Only last year did I make a note of which day it was. May 9, 2012 - it was then that the first post appeared on the blog Spod kocyka, and I took a small step towards the life I lead today.

 

Today I want to tell you a story about why it was created. I will tell you why I wrote it anonymously and how it happened that you now know my name and what I look like. And most importantly: what has this disclosure of identity changed in my, our life - and it has changed a lot - and what has it taught us. I thought that it would be an inspiration for you and maybe it will be motivation, be no longer afraid of what you enjoy.

 

 

The dream of writing

For many years I have been "on the other side". I read blogs - Polish and foreign, commented, raved about. I felt that I also had a lot to offer my readers, that I really wanted to become part of a larger community - share my thoughts, attract people who think together, motivate and develop together. I want to grow and share it, but I was scared.

 

 

What was I afraid of?

In 2012 I was already a businesswoman. I ran a company for 5 years, ran a wedding portal, where I employed employees, headed the sales team, dealt with the company's strategy. For two years I also had a Wedding Factory, I was a Wedding Planner and for the first time I sold my entire season. And a group of friends I thought were friends.

 

So when I started the blog, I didn't tell anyone. I was afraid. What?

 

First of all, my friends' reactions, I felt more and more often that our interests diverge and nobody is interested in what I am talking about. My stories about the composition of cosmetics did not interest anyone, and even amused. I was afraid that if they see that I am still writing about it, they will even recognize it I do stupid things, because what normal, adult and serious person is writing about how to fold towels in the bathroom to make them look elegant? - he was about it my first post.

 

Secondly, I was afraid that they would say that I was vain. Because I show my interior, a piece of my life.

 

I will say more: about starting a blog, I didn't even tell my husband. And if you are watching me, you probably know that my relationship with Wojtek is very close and very friendly - and if you don't know, that's what I told you about it. I can't believe myself now that I didn't believe in myselfthat I did not say that I am writing, even to the person closest to me.

 

The paradox is that my husband runs an interactive agency, so if I told him he would certainly help me make this blog top notch. And I ... I created a blog on the free blogspot platform so as not to tell my husband what I am doing.

 

The first act of courage - the decision

Despite all these fears, however I decided to take this first step. It wasn't a deep-water jump, but… putting my finger in the pool I was so afraid to enter. The first step was completely on its own terms.

 

I called my blog: From under the blanket. Maybe you still remember his name. In fact, I changed my name to AgnieszkaKudela.pl only in 2016 - after 4 years of my blog's operation. Some people think it was called that because I have two children and the blog has a lot of parenting content, and kids like blankets. Well, not only children! 😉 The truth is that I really liked spending time under the blanket - it has not changed so far, I have a blanket in every room, and even in the office, I like to sit under it and write to you (I even do it now) or work or simply relaxing with a cup of hot fruit tea. Now I feel that this blanket was also a metaphor for my hiding, a secret that I was hiding ...

 

 

The second act of courage - the first initiate

Has become. I told Wojtek. I showed him my blog Spod a blanket. Do you know what he said then? "Cool! And it is very good that you write it anonymously. He shared my concerns about my friends' reactions - he had the same objections.

 

We did not notice then that there was some unhealthy situation - we keep in touch with people (and - even - we consider them friends) to whom we do not tell about what is in our soul, about what makes us happy, because we are so afraid of their reactions. These fears arose on the basis of our conversations about the surrounding world, previous experiences and reflections.

 

To this day, I remember writing this blog in secret from my friends, and before the publication of each post, Wojtek helped me assess whether I was showing too much ...

 

 

Third act of courage - first public appearance

A year passed from under the blanket. She talked to me Marysia Kunicka - then running the blog art attack {be inspired}. She wrote that she really liked my blog and would like it invite me to a meeting of Tri-City bloggers. I was picking my jaw from the floor. Wow, someone found me, noticed me, appreciated me, invited me to a meeting!

 

Of course, I went to the meeting in great emotions. Nobody knew me, nobody knew me, because I ran my blog anonymously. I remember how stressed I was - there was a whole cream of Tri-City bloggers that I read or watched. Great joy - to be in such a place, with such people ... I did not even mind that I cannot show it to any of my friends, my fear was greater.

 

In thanks to the place where the meeting was organized, each participant submitted signature on the poster. Of course, I was happy to sign it - I don't remember if I just added the name of the blog or added the last name. The stairs started later: everyone was supposed to take pictures. When I found out about it, I started to get hot. The photos, of course, were to be uploaded on Facebook, and we were tagged. There was only one thought in my head - everyone will know, my world will collapse!

 

Then I approached Marysia, confided in her that I was writing anonymously and nobody knew about it, I asked her to stay that way, so that she would not mark me by name. Notice - I trusted my friends less than a person I didn't know. Oddly enough, I still haven't gotten the red light on - I haven't noticed that these relationships with my friends aren't as they should be - they're not based on trust.

 

As I wished, Marysia did not mark me by name, she only signed my photo as "Under the blanket". I remember how much I was afraid of the reactions of those around me. And you know what happened? But it did speak to me a few high school friends who recognized me in these photos - and it was all very nice news!

 

 

It seemed!

I wore Instagram From under the blanketand in the meantime our friends invited us to the birthday of one of them. We were meeting with whole families then, we already had a little son - Mikołaj was then about 2 months old. We went to dinner and I remember that the atmosphere was very stiff - we couldn't find ourselves there, we wondered where this sudden change came from ... Suddenly our friends said they wanted to talk to us about something ...

 

The question was, how could we not tell them that we have a blog? One of the friends found an Under blanket on Instagram, called the next one, the next and another, they passed on to their partners and husbands and recognized that everyone would be offended at us. They complained to us that we had hidden it from them and decided that we should stop being friends.

 

It was one of the worst days of my life. When we got home, I couldn't even breathe, I cried, I didn't know what would happen next. We went to this meeting to celebrate the birthday of one of them with our friends, and we left… now without friends.

 

It turned out that not only without friends. We also conducted part of the business with them - until the split also occurred in this businessWhat seemed to me then the end of the world ... and in practice, made me and my husband come up with even more creative ideas for him in his new version.

 

 

Happiness came with time

When I think about it today - I smile - and to this friend who discovered our secret and shared it with others, sometimes I feel like send a bouquet of flowers. And even more - deserves a diamond ring! I am so glad these accounts fell apart ... Why?

 

Bo what I was afraid of happened - that it seems that they will laugh at me, that I will lose my friends. Yes - I lost my friends. But you know what I gained?

 

I began to flourish in life. I started to do what is playing in my soul. I will say more: it turned out that the more authentic we are, the more people we attract, but also push away from each other - there is nothing wrong with that either. It is brilliant because thanks to the fact that I stopped being afraid and started to do what I love at ease, without fear that it will come out, I began to meet people who broadcast on the same waves, feel and think just like me. And even if they don't think - we have so much respect for each other, care and sympathy that we have very good relations.

 

 

Future applications and advice for you

I am now writing an author blog, in harmony with myself. I write about what I want, I only show what is consistent with my ideals, my approach to life. I am happy, I have a great audience, we have great relationships and a super support group on Facebook. A community has formed around the blog, readers interact with each other and help each other.

 

The lack of courage at the time meant that the road to my happiness in blogging and community support was very long and bumpy.

 

That's why I have advice for you. If you are afraid to jump into deep water because you are worried it will spoil your relationship - stop being afraid, just do it. Perhaps you will quickly get rid of people who do not serve you, who block and inhibit you.

 

If you look at how much my business has flourished since it all seemed, you'll see that it was springboard to the success that I achieved. Finally, I stopped looking at others not only about the blog, but also about doing business and making money.

 

Of course - some fears still arose - this is work on yourself for many years.

 

And I would like to add that the couple with whom we were friends for the longest ... came back to our lives and today we laugh at it all and we are happy with the changes for the better in all of us.

 

Courage does not have to be a jump into deep water - although it may be. Could be dipping your finger into the pool - as was my case. But most importantly this is find courage. Close your eyes and act - simply. You'll see that whatever you lose along the way will make room for new ones that are more suited to you. We as humans are also changing. Thanks to this, we act authentically, we push away things that do not suit us and attract those that are consistent with us.

 

We are also in this situation now: we are parting ways with a certain person - yes, I am sorry for that, especially since I imagined it differently, I thought that we would still be able to remain in good relations - unfortunately the other party sees it differently. Today, instead of crying about it, I say to myself: "Aguś, the time you devoted to this relationship and the heart you put into it, you can devote to getting closer in relationships with people you already have in your life, and this time you are missing ". Or: "Aguś, see, there will be room in your life for the fact that when another, valuable relationship appears, you will be able to take care of it."

 

Today, this little sadness is in my heart, but I look forward to the future.

 

Each "no" means "yes" to something else.

 

I try to fill every gap that arises after closing a relationship with one person by caring for the relationship with other people. Mother's Day is approaching. On this occasion, Wojtek and I decided to spend a special time with our mothers, which are very important to us and devote a lot more time to it than usual.

 

Yes, that's right - these pushbacks are painful. But if you start to view them as an opportunity, to make room for something new, new situations and relationships, or to care for those that are already there but are a bit neglected, maybe it will be soothing and cleansing for you.

 

 

Today, to sum up these 8 years, I just want to write one thing to you: THANK YOU FOR YOU.

 

 

And you? Since when are you with me? Do you remember what your first read post was? Or maybe this is the post I inspired you to jump into the deep water?

16 comments
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  • Edith
    Reply
    14.10.2020

    This is the first post I have read. I personally acted impulsively and jumped straight away without undressing into deep water. I even wrote it in the first post but now I feel that the wave is flooding me even though it's not big. I need a lifebuoy.

  • Joanna
    Reply
    10.08.2020

    oh yeah, I'm reading about the dilemmas that concern me. In theory, I'm very good. I know that I have to be brave, that the beginnings are difficult, that I should not worry about others, that I should not be afraid to laugh at how to motivate myself. And then I'm afraid that I have insufficient knowledge to write about a given topic, etc.
    Goodbye;), after this post I think I'll start, I'll write my first post 😉

  • 05.06.2020

    As always, a great article. I wish you good luck further 🙂

  • Ania
    Reply
    23.05.2020

    Oh Agnieszka ... I cried when I read about my friends' reaction. I do not understand it completely, although I understand that they might have had regret, such insulting is… childishness and cruelty. A total barrack of empathy. It's good that they are no longer part of your life. The power of hot hugs. You are doing well what you are doing and it's nice that you are still with us. And I remember from under the blanket from the first posts.

  • 21.05.2020

    Congratulations on your internship, 8 years is a long time! Amazing what path you have gone through these years, but the blog is now impressive. Only after this post I came to your page for the first time and very well, because there are plenty of interesting entries here. Good luck and success over the years! 🙂

  • 21.05.2020

    Wow, it's hard to believe adult people reacted so immaturely to something like this. I guess they weren't true friends… But I still wonder what caused such a strange and disproportionate reaction. Jealousy? The feeling that you "have" friends in some way and that they have no right to their own affairs, secrets? It would be normal to say, "We're sorry you thought you couldn't share such an important issue with us in your life, so for the future, please know that you always have our support."

    • 21.05.2020

      Aluś - I think exactly the same - it was enough to say that they are sorry that I did not share it, I would have the opportunity to say that I am sorry that for a long time when I say they do not listen ...
      I think that the option that friends have to tell you about everything, they cannot have secrets, their fears, fears ... is very possible. And as a human being, I need to have my own separate space in life.
      I think that for a long time everybody felt that we were going in different directions and there was no acceptance that each of us was developing and changing. The most important thing is that it all turned out for good 🙂

  • Martyn
    Reply
    20.05.2020

    Bravo for courage! A story with the loss of friends is very sad, but it is also a valuable life lesson.
    I wish you continued success on the blog, at work and in family life! greetings

  • Monika
    Reply
    19.05.2020

    Hello Agnieszka, I came to your blog by chance in 2016, I was looking for some information about lactation and your post appeared to me, and that's how I stayed today. I really remember looking under the name Blanket and I was directed to your new blog straight away. Your posts suit me very well, they radiate warmth and authenticity. I admire you for your courage and confidence. I think that life will constantly surprise us and bring a new good soul that will develop us and push us forward, at which we feel like in our own skin. Agnieszka, you still have such relationships and I hope that each of us will.
    Warm greetings and fingers crossed for you for the next years of blogging!

  • Karina / Fenylova
    Reply
    18.05.2020

    My first contact with you was on YouTube. I came across a movie with a bag to the hospital for mom and newborn. You impressed me with your organization and planning and you seemed a very nice and warm person. The funniest thing is that I don't have children yet and I'm not even pregnant yet, but your movie interested me so much that I looked deeper and found your blog and Facebook page.
    I recently set up a blog myself (www.fenylova.pl) but I'm just crawling. Probably some time will pass before I develop.

    Congratulations, I wish you even more successes!
    Greetings warmly

    • 21.05.2020

      But the number! Funny story with this bag! I was wondering by the comments from teenagers that they love to watch about this bag 🙂
      I am glad that you have stayed longer and that your blog is already waiting for a comment from me: *

  • Asia
    Reply
    18.05.2020

    Hey Agnieszka, I don't usually comment on posts, but in this case you need to know how you shook me! So positive. I have the same concerns, I am also afraid. Laughter, criticism, the wave of recognition that it's me, because someone once knew me, even though I am a completely different person. I confide in my husband. He tries to support me, but still some inner sabotaging voice pulls me down. I'm working on it, you know ... I believe I'll break free and spread my wings. Just like you. Thank you for being there and sharing yourself. It's great!

    • Angela
      19.05.2020

      When I was looking for a course for a Wedding Consultant, I reviewed several websites and finally stopped at the Wedding Factory Akadami. Why? Because you were the only one who drew my attention not only with a professionally prepared offer but also with kindness and a warm and kind word. It all seemed so perfect to me, even unreal. I thought: Agnieszka has developed a good advertising marketing, but the question is, is it really so?
      YES You Agnieszka are really so. You are always honest and very open. Dear and so cuddling. I learned about it on the course and then also. It's nice that you have the courage to always be yourself because it is extremely difficult!
      I know something about this
      But thanks to you, I try not to give up and think positively despite adversity ☺️

      Pozdrawiam

    • 21.05.2020

      For two days, Andżeliko, I don't know what to write back to you here - and it rarely happens to me ... you divided me and you gave me so much. I welcome and nurture <3
      I hug you and see you and hug: *

    • Bartosz
      22.05.2020

      We know each other well and I can't believe you had such fears. Shouldn't a real friend support us? in realizing our dreams and plans, even if he did not understand them? Everyone has their own world for one, they are cosmetics and towels for another collecting stamps, reading books, visiting monuments, fishing or running with a metal detector. And probably it should be because if everyone were the same it would be very boring. greetings