Help! I'am a mother!
You recently became a mom. You look at this picture and you know that you haven't seen such an organized nightstand in months. Not to mention live flowers, because you would not waste time for such stupid things if you can catch up on sleep or on Instagram. You don't remember the last time you went shopping. And I'm not talking about grocery shopping and sprinting around Biedronka. Nor about those when you went out for something for yourself and came back with a net of (often unnecessary) things for the child.
I remember very well how A few weeks after giving birth, I came to the conclusion that I would never achieve anything in my life. I decided not to break down and be grateful for the fact that I am fulfilling my greatest dream about motherhood, as well as for what I was able to do before the birth of my child, accepting that this is the end of my professional achievements.
I remember that then I was overwhelmed by caring for this Little Man and the house. This 2-in-1 package was beyond my comprehension. All the tools that I had used with great success until the Birth Day - both in my professional and private life - turned out to be completely useless. The intricately planned times of the day or even single outings for a walk with a neighbor turned out to be often unattainable for our duo. Unforeseen cries, diaper changes or feeding times, colic, intolerances and downpours made me from a person who has his entire microworld subordinated to himself - I became subordinated to "higher power", a scared mother, with a huge, overwhelming sense of guilt.
I felt guilty in most areas of my life: from getting ready too late, through the long cry of the Child, chafing bottom, too little milk, too much fatigue, and not to ending a mess at home.
The day before yesterday my son turned 2 years old, and I already know that despite the initial shock of life being turned upside down, it was getting better with each passing day. Invisibly, because it is an absolutely slow process of adapting to a new lifestyle that will never be as carefree as before, but definitely more beautiful and fuller, full of love and finally a relief.
My favorite way of dealing with the frustration that often appeared in the life of a young mother was reading, or actually absorbing books that allowed me to get relief during feeding. If you feel that you need it too, enter the following items on your shopping list:
"Non-Fiction Maternity" by Joanna Woźniczko-Czeczott
Joanna mockingly describes the first year of a newborn… mother. You will learn from her that a pregnant woman is everything and a mother in childbirth is nobody. That for most of the world you become the Mother of your Child, not a separate entity. You will see how much you identify with your baby. You will disassemble the first children and non-children, looking at the relationship with the former and the latter. You will see how pride * and physiology inhabits and is pushed forward in our lives. You will read about insufficiency, childishness, lack of sleep so great that everything else collapses, and our creativity and patience melting like ice in too hot tomato soup. In short, you will learn about the educational methods and the theme of comparative races. And most of all, you will read about the "conspiracy of silence" and the ubiquitous overspecified image of motherhood. Although the book is full of frustration in the form of a self-therapy diary, your smile will not come off your face, and when you put it back on the shelf, you will gain DISTANCE to the world and I guarantee - it will do better. Do you have a problem with "young moms who declare that they are not nervous, do not have enough and do not lose patience?" Those happy, fulfilled women in motherhood who nod their heads sympathetically when they hear about my dilemmas. They give advice in which a sense of superiority lurks ”is the perfect position for you.
* state in which the Parent is completely focused on his child
Anna Dydzik's "Imperfect Mother"
Did you become mother for the first time? You don't always control your emotions? Do you often feel inferior, hopeless or just suck? Do you feel that you are failing as a mother and wife or partner? Do you lose yourself in a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness? Ania Dydzik, the author of the blog "Nieperfekcyjna Mama" extends a helping hand to you. Ania knows that you are doing a lot of positive things and you are perfect for your child! You do not believe? See for yourself!
The more that I have 5 books by Ania Dydzik "Nieperfekcyjna Mama" for you, and how to get your copy you will find out today on mine Facebook (you can also buy it at the best price here). In this book, the author herself, the mother of three daughters, including twins, will talk to you in a very loose form, who will help you regain faith in yourself and your own strength without exaggerating yourself and your own strength, and believe that you are the best version of yourself, and will also tell you how to achieve it based on your stories. However, most importantly - although you will certainly have different opinions, Ania always leaves room for your own choice in her stories, without judging or imposing her own opinion on you.
After the above reading and two years of motherhood, I could not help but reflect on how often we owe ourselves in our maternal dilemmas. Not only as an individual, but above all as a group. I remember how I was able to cancel a meeting when I didn't manage to clean my apartment, how I started avoiding my ideal friends because I was ashamed to show my weaknesses to them. Probably also because they didn't show me theirs, which made me think they didn't have them at all. It heightened my loneliness and hopelessness. This, in turn, drove us each other in a perfect chase for someone that is not there, creating a vicious circle of our own unfulfilled expectations.
Therefore, if you come over for a coffee and I open the door for you without makeup, you will be led into the kitchen by a toy slalom, and I forget to ask you if you want to drink anything - appreciate my honesty expressed in this way and when you invite me again do not throw yourself into the whirlwind of cleaning - you will give me great pleasure and I will feel at home like never before.
What do you think?
PS We should not remain silent about difficult matters. But I recommend the above books only after giving birth 😉
"Incomplete Mom" book set
and the "Best Mom in the world" mug receive:
Additionally, the "Best Mom in the world" mug is awarded to:
and my personal, imperfect, coffee-bearing, non-competitive copy of the Book and Mug is given to my friend Anna Rogalska-Bućko.
Beloved, I am asking you to send to the address firstname.lastname@example.org the data for shipping - I am waiting for them until Friday and running to the post office 🙂
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