This post was written many months ago, but it's only today that I have the courage to publish it. Two years have just passed. The two most difficult and beautiful years of my life. And you know what gave me courage? Meeting with one of you. And words that our blog and our history helped her in difficult times. If anyone in the world in such a difficult situation feels better just because I am sharing my story here, I will say: it was worth it.
When, during the next ultrasound examination, I learned that our children were dead, my world stood still. My world, because yours went on. I knew it was over, that everything was over. And I was right. I also died that day. At least part of me. A large part. Huge. In fact, I am surprised that I did not die from this pain.
And so I stayed on the border of two worlds - this and that. Every day, colliding with reality, with the world, which, after all, continued to spin. Living in incomprehension, in terrible loneliness and longing for the Children that this world has not had time to meet, who only knew me and only I understood, what an infinite loss the lack of them is, in this absolute feeling of lack of acceptance and understanding I have thought many times that I was crazy. This book made me realize that it is not so.
I think this book saved me then. Apart from my husband and a few close friends, she gave me faith that I had not lost my mind. That what I feel is normal. That I can despair, cry, miss. That I have the right to experience my universally and socially unacceptable mourning for the loss of "unborn" children as and as I want. That I do not have to live as before, that I do not have to smile and socialize, because I can, and even have to, live this time in my own way. Whether others like it or not. Regardless of whether family and friends stay with me or leave me.
This book spoke to me on behalf of all the Women who lost their Children. It made the feeling of loneliness go away. I believe that this book is the most beautiful gift you can give to a Mother who has lost her Tiny Baby. The second most beautiful gift you can give her is to read it yourself. "Broken Waiting. A guide for women after a miscarriage ”wrote Giorgia Cozza. To buy here.
Anna, thank you for finding this book for me.