Do you know that today each of us assimilates 34 gigabytes of information daily? Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist from New York, made a terrifying (in my opinion) discovery through his research.
Do you know that within a month we process as much information as our grandparents did throughout their lives?
Television, radio, constant notifications on the phone, social media channels, e-mails, messengers, letters and even billboards, leaflets, product labels, tags, books, e-books, podcasts, but also the noise in which we work, walk or live ... and above all everyone we like and love, our everyday life ... I could name a long time where we receive messages that unfortunately more and more often make us overloaded with them.
I don't know about yours, but I have felt for a long time that my brain, my nervous system is just not ready for it, and the amount of stimuli I receive every day is too much for me.
How do I feel overloaded?
Problems with concentration, nervousness, sadness, confusion, impaired self-esteem, even anxiety ...
These feelings for longer, and even constantly felt more and more often lead us to desperation or neurosis.
Unfortunately, I felt what I was talking about and I remember exactly at the end of 2018 My nervous system "overheated"though I didn't know why yet.
I felt very strongly that I have to "turn off"not to go mad, to be a mother for their children, support, laughter and help. To run our home and our businesses hand in hand with my husband, to be a good boss, associate and mentor.
Of course, I wrote "disconnect" in quotation marks, because as a mom and owner and co-owner of companies I can't just "unsubscribe" from life, at least not for long.
Fortunately, my loved ones saw what was happening to me and when I told them it had been a long time I dream of seclusion... My mum and my husband shared the plan of action and care for the house and children so that they made it possible for me departure for 6 days.
What was retreat?
I left my laptop and my phone to Wojtekwhile I took the SIM card out of my home alarm myself, grabbed my old formatted cell phone, and left for an organized retreat.
Needless to say, I saw quickly how addicted I am to technology todaybecause it quickly turned out that without the Internet, I could not even get to the place - I had no maps with GPS in my phone other than online. Just like Yanosika, an application that warns us about the dangers on the road ... to which I forgot my password, and to retrieve it I had to log in to my e-mail ... I was laughing to myself about this strange situation that even for a retreat I cannot leave without these applications and "internet".
What did I expect from retreat?
I left with some hope that there would be such 6 days of work on yourself in conditions of organized retreat somehow heal me miraculously for a long, long time ... my nervous system will rest, and I ... of course I will return to my previous life full of strength and motivation.
What did I get in retreat?
I got a lot more than I expectedbut it was completely different than I expected. In addition to solid - and often difficult - work on myself, I received tools such as meditation and relaxation.
I remember the first two evenings when already during the second relaxation I felt relaxed like never before in my life ...
I remember how I practiced in meditation in motion for an hour and a half a day without feeling tired... without interruption ... at the same time at home having a problem to quickly get to the second floor without out of breath.
I remember on the third day, during my free time, I decided to check it out for the first time, "does this relaxation really work, is it some magic”And I can submit myself to it without being guided by a teacher.
I went to my room alone and the magic happened! Lying on the bed, with your legs at right angles on the wooden sill (don't ask me where this position is from), I let my thoughts and feelings flow without judging them ...
Away from people who love more than life, in the heart of the forest, the third day in the same tracksuit, without any attributes of the success of our time, unknown to anyone and anonymous ... I felt happy like never before in my life.
Without any messages from the outside world (except for a short text message or two minutes of conversation with children - for their and my peace of mind), no radio, e-mail, books, newspapers, Instagram or Facebook…. I calmed myself.
I was just lying on that bed then, smiling from ear to ear, thinking, "God, I'm happy!" And the most important thing is that this I gave myself happiness, so I could also take this practice with me as a tool that will allow me to relax, feel so relaxed at home, at work - and wherever I am.
Full awareness that, of course, practice makes perfect and nothing will do itself, and at the same time delighted with the effects of the first self-led relaxation I knew that nothing in my life would ever be the same.
I knew that after returning home I would neither be able nor would I want to cut myself off from the world in which I live - from stimuli, from children and their (for) rapidly developing world, from my businesses that give us joy and survival, but I also knew that as often as possible I want to rest from these stimuli - not only during relaxation or meditation. To let oneself free from stimuli often enough to be able to experience them fully later. And all this without being overwhelmed by them.
I knew I wanted a global change - train your meditating mind every day - that is, one that is less and less dependent on what happens to us, and more and more on what we think about what happens to us. One who can resist the stimuli bombarding us, from which, living in the modern world, I will not run away ... unless I become a hermit, which I do not want!
I knew I also wanted to introduce new rituals for my home and workplaceAnd if you are here with me longer, you know that after several years of having a company headquarters in the center of Gdynia, which made me proud at the time, I moved to the quiet and peaceful suburbs - and now I felt at home!
What have I tried?
I learned to meditate while moving, in a meditative position and lying down. I learned to relaxationI love and adore. I've finished the course Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction - a medical and psycho-educational program, which, although I was not absorbed as much as relaxation, because it gave me much slower results, I return to these sciences, waiting with curiosity for the long-term ones.
I realized that my attention and my time is the most important currency in my life and I decided to start saving here.
I was meditating with and without visualization… but always with one goal - by reduce the number of stimuli reaching me, reduce thoughts and emotions. To calm down, improve your concentration, get to know yourself better, and thus experience more peace and less stress in your daily life.
Save attention, or what exactly?
First reduce stimulithat I admit to myself.
Secondly calm down.
Third, educate yourself meditating mind.
Meditating mind, or what exactly?
Today I see the meditating mind as:
Focused - on what he is doing right now. On one job. Years ago we are told that we are multi-threaded, we have great divisibility of attention… and the truth is, we achieve it only seemingly by shifting attention from stimulus to stimulus ... from thought to thought, jumping from activity to activity ... and we lose energy from these jumps, our concentration suffers.
Single-threaded - I'm trying to do one thing at the same time.
Organized - I list tasks on a list that I divide thematically and I work in blocks similar tasks to change the type of concentration as little as possible.
Here and now - and not 20 years ago in memories on a date with a guy who didn't want me... not for a year in dreams, on vacation Bali, which I may never go to.
Attentive - or when I eat soup, I want to fully focus on its taste, not listening to podcasts. When i work, i don't listen to news or online courses, but I will gladly invite the smell of palo santo or the sounds of nature or instruments in the distance to evoke the reassurance they remind me of, and when I'm in bed with my husband, I don't think about the fact that I have to finish the offer for the client yet. Or at least I try to absorb life and every moment, awakening my senses.
Bo everything that we feel in life happens here and now. We cannot hug our ex-partner, feel his warmth, nor can we embrace the child we have been waiting for for years ...
Do not get me wrong…
It doesn't mean that I don't like reminiscences and laughs ...
For example, from our engagement - did you know that Wojtek proposed to me in the middle of the night in Westerplatte?
Yes, at the outbreak of World War II, inviting you to walk in the dark ... you know, one with ghosts ...
As you can imagine, I didn't go anywhere, so he had to propose to me in the car. He got away with kneeling and we have been laughing at it for several years that he planned it so specially.
... or that not to make plans for the future ...
but I try to spend only a few% of my time on it ... to spend as much time HERE and NOW as possible.
It is here and now that we can open the window and feel the pleasant wind on the body and hair, play pleasant, calm music or listen to the sounds of nature, light a beloved candle in a clay pot and feel its warmth and smell. Or take a friend and go for a walk in the rain… a instead of grabbing my husband's hand on the phone.
In tomorrow's post I'll tell you about my three ways to relax during sleep and I will give you some tips on how to start a candle flame meditation, take advantage of ready-made guided meditation and take a de-stress bath.