When I tell myself enough? The baby doesn't want to sleep. 1

the baby does not want to sleep

You are already walking tired, you fall asleep in any position, you stumble over your own legs, your baby does not want to sleep ... Do you know that? When should you change something about sleeping?



Tired mom, sleepy mom - this is sad mom, mom without energy. And no mom should be sad! After all being a mother is the most beautiful thing that can happen to a woman.


How to deal with a baby who wakes up many times at night, and when he finally falls asleep and is trying to fall asleep himself, he wakes up and the fun starts from the beginning?


Help, my baby won't sleep!

Sleeping should suit the needs of the whole family, meet its needs with particular emphasis on the needs of the newborn and infant. Because if it seems to you that it is not you who should adapt to the child, but it should adapt to you - nothing could be further from the truth!


If you think that your baby will sleep all night after 2-3 months - no, most likely it won't.


In order for the organization of the whole family's night to improve, one must first answer the following questions:


Why does my child wake up many times at night?

When our baby is born, his sleep cycle is different from that of an adult - it is much shorter. A newborn's sleep cycle lasts 50 minutes and an adult's sleep cycle is 90 minutes. It is easier for them to wake up between cycles, and then they chatter, lie still, or, unfortunately, cry.


Our toddler's body before 3 is one month old does not yet operate in the daily system, later the daytime sleep time is reduced, but the body's functioning in the circadian system will not occur before the age of two.


Until 9, the baby's month of life gradually decreases, and then increases and reaches its climax during the second year of life, before falling again until Our child's sleep cycle will extend until teenage age [1].


Where do the night motives come from?

Remember that night wake up calls are normal. This is a sign that everything is fine with the baby, that he does not spend much time in the deep sleep stage, which can lead to apnea.


When a baby is born, it is not ready for life outside the mother's body. There is the concept of so-called "Fourth trimester"because it is the minimum necessary for a child to come into the world more mature and developed. A baby cannot develop longer in the womb than the adopted 9 months - it would have a problem with its birth. The bones of the female pelvis are smaller than the bones of animals, therefore we should pay attention to the fact that, for example, a small foal can move independently shortly after its birth.


Researchers compared the brain of a newborn baby with the brains of other newborn mammals. While the brain of a small person is only a quarter of what it will become in adulthood, the brains of small animals already have 80% of the final volume. This 80% brain of babies reaches only around the first birthday.


This is because after the baby is born, his immune, nervous, digestive systems are still developing ... all this means that we can call it "pregnancy outside the womb". The child is still very dependent on us, he cannot dress himself, undress, eat, wash, etc.


This physiological immaturity is also obvious need for physical contact with my mother, with whom he spent several long months, cradled, warm and with constant access to food [2].


Until Maks 12 finished months, I did everything to ensure his free development, respond to his almost every need as soon as possible, to grow in a sense of security and absolute trust in me and the world around him. After Maks finished the year, I returned to work full-time and it turned out that I could no longer function like this, because it poses real threats to my life and health. When the second day in a row I decided to leave my car outside our office, because I was not able to drive it home, I knew that our daily rhythm no longer meets the needs of our whole family and that I need to change something. So I started to diagnose our problems.


Our problems


problem 1

Maks, who fell asleep with me in our bed, after falling asleep to the bed, after waking up after an hour or two, did not know where he was, he felt anxious and immediately wanted to return to a place where he had fallen asleep safely and nicely - that is, to our bed. He calmed down only when he was in it.


problem 2

Maks, who slept put away in his cot, standing in our bedroom next to ours, often woke up at night because of sensitivity to external stimuli such as telephone light, reading lamp, creaking bed, coughing, sneezing.


problem 3

Maks learned to fall asleep by the breast, so as soon as he woke up at night and saw me, he naturally associated me with falling asleep and demanded breastfeeding to sleep. During the night he was so sensitive to putting off and he slept so shallowly that he did not put it off, that he was able to wake up from 2 to 6 after 30 times and fall asleep / sleep only at the breast.


With this post I start the series Baby sleep, in which we will jointly go through the theory of child's sleep to practice - how it was with us, how we managed to get a good night's sleep for ourselves and for the child.


When looking for the perfect way to learn to fall asleep, I was recommended many (drastic) methods, fortunately I did not use any of them and you do not have to either - in the next post in the series I will write to you, what a baby's crying really is and why it's a bad idea of ​​learning to fall asleep.


And what problems do you see in your family sleep?



[1] Claude Didierjean-Jouveau, "Non-Violent Parenting"

[2] Claude Didierjean-Jouveau "We sleep with the baby"

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