Rebellion on board

two-year rebellion

Although my little son is approaching two years of age, I have not intentionally titled this post "rebellion of the two-year-old". My observations show that children rebel at any age, and when they start rebelling, somehow they can't stop. Fortunately, the periods of rebellion are only periods.

I interpret rebellion as attacks of anger, protests, willingness to stand up, which very often lead a child to real despair. How can I help him? How can you not get a rage attack yourself, if our Child is howling at the moon like a wolf, because he has to get his way?

Today I share with you my best practices for dealing with a rebellious Child.

pardoned

First of all, when my Child wants to get his way, I ask myself whether it makes sense to stand in his way. And when it comes to the fact that during a walk together, He wants to go right and I want to go left, or when in the evening He wants to put together a puzzle, when I have planned to paint with crayons or he doesn't want to eat with a fork with his hands only ... let me go. Let him know that he can make decisions, let him feel that he has the driving force, that a lot depends on him - more and more with age, let him know that I trust him. Even if he chooses to play in the living room at bedtime and is really having a good time even for an hour - I allow. But when he does not want to go to bed, even though he is so tired that he falls over his own legs and picks up his bumps - when he hurts himself, I step in and I get my own way, but always respecting his feelings.

I give a choice

Often in these "difficult times", instead of asking the Child if he wants to do something, I immediately give him "an apparent choice" and I do not ask "if" he wants, but "what" he wants.

"Do you want to wear yellow or green socks?"
"Do you want to go outside on a bicycle or in a pram?"
"Do you want to eat porridge or milk?"

And although verbal communication during the first several or several dozen months of a child's life is limping, I will always find a way of communication that distracts from the problem of "if" and focuses on the choice of "what".

I never leave

When children are in a period of rebellion to what we say, what we expect, they often react with screams, despair and struggle. Never, never, I leave the Child alone then. I don't leave him alone in the room or in the crib - unless he wants to be in it himself. I do not leave Him in the store and do not turn on my heel, hoping that he will be afraid that I will leave him and finally fight his willpower with his own fear. Always, but I'm always there. I say I understand his despair and dissatisfaction that not everything is exactly as He wants it to be. In addition, I explain why I made this and no other decision, which is dictated by ... its safety or exhausted budget for new toys this month. To be honest, I have been talking and explaining my decisions to him since forever, although to this day I do not know how much he understands my own, but certainly more and more. However, I know that he certainly sees my acceptance and feels my love, and my calm voice does not stop him from calming down.

I am hugging

I always suggest the Child to be cuddly and although he often rejects me, sometimes it is enough to make a gentle hug attempt once again, and the Child melts in my arms, finding solace here. My calm words accompany the whole process. I keep saying that I understand his sadness and his pain, I often tell him about the fact that I get pissed off myself, when not everything goes my way, that feeling angry is the most normal, albeit unpleasant feeling. I can assure you that he will learn to deal with it.

I give an alternative

I show my child ways to get rid of his anger in a healthy way. Anger is energy that needs to be spent on something - the worst thing is to suppress it within yourself. Personally, I can bring a child a roll of toilet paper and encourage him to tear him, to vent his feelings in such a way.

Stretcher

In dramatic situations, when an anger attack lasts a very long time, I try to use a method that is well known and liked by my Child - I wrap him in a scarf or mei-tai and rock, sing or play music, walk, exercise, dance ... we are together, we are in motion and in this way we discharge the excess energy that my Child has to expel.

And guess what? This well-established path of fighting with anger, with the rebellion of the Child, all this means that when an attack of anger comes, I am confident that we have our own plan and act according to it. When I have to, I choose my own things for the sake of my Child, but respecting his feelings and emotions. I'm fine with it. Instead of frustration, I feel calm.

Do you observe the period of rebellion in your children? How do you deal with children's anger?

I look forward to your comments and invite you to a conversation.

And if you like me, I invite you to mine FB i Instagram.

10 comments
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  • 25.11.2019

    A very interesting entry 🙂

  • mkfcb
    Reply
    01.08.2017

    I have a question a little bit from another barrel, i.e. in the field of child sleep and RB. Is it ok that a 16 month-old baby falls asleep only carried on the arms or on the breast?
    thank you in advance for your answer.

  • niezwyklapodroz.pl
    Reply
    12.09.2016

    I think that a real rebellion is when I can't throw my toddler in a headscarf because he writhes too much, when I can't explain anything to him, because he screams too loudly to hear myself. In such moments I don't leave him alone, but I ignore him. I remember the situation with the elderly in the bank. He scattered crayons in the kids' corner and refused to collect. He shouted loudly and even lay down on the floor. I didn't collect crayons for him, I didn't run away holding him under my arm, I didn't scare him with spanking. I just kept saying that you have to pick up the pencils and leave when the pencils are cleaned. I was ashamed and how. Even more to my husband. I didn't give up. This one situation taught my son that in a public place my mother will not give up and my rebellion will not change anything. This situation never happened again. I also often suggest joint prayer, it helps! :).

    • 13.09.2016

      Well, for me the most difficult thing is to answer the question of where is the limit of consequences and when my putting my own way makes sense, and when it doesn't. I imagine your situation in the bank, what you felt - all the time I learn that I cannot be ashamed of a child, because it is only a child whose behavior I do not have much influence on at the moment and I can be ashamed, yes, but only for your behavior. And the worst in such a situation is "aunties good advice", i.e. meddling people, I fear them the most because then the competitive scandal me vs. "Aunt good advice" hangs in the air 😉 I usually ignore them and turn to the child, but in such a situation you may have weakened defense mechanisms 😉

  • Agnieszka Patora-Wojs
    Reply
    10.09.2016

    In our place, Agnieszka, the rebellion also appeared much earlier, in some 13th month of Marysia's life. I do the same. I am with her, I offer my help, but when I see that it is for nothing and she pushes me away again and says "no" - I am. After a few minutes, when the bullfinches are flying to my mouth from crying, 🙂 comes up and hugs me. I am madly annoyed by the "advice" of the elders to leave and let them bleat, because they test and check us ... maybe it is a bit like that, but I won't leave it. Although my blood is flooding, I am 🙂 after all, this child is not yet able to control his emotions, and he needs us to help him direct them.
    Ps. Yesterday I thought that I would hide M. in the closet so she rebelled. But as a result, we went on a bicycle trip 😉

    • 13.09.2016

      We also have a massive attack of bullets in such a situation, but in the end ... everything passes, and I am here. Then I cannot imagine leaving the child alone in the room or in the bed, even when it is in the bed, we are together, within reach of the head and arm - just like yesterday evening. Yesterday during the day I sensed that my son has a "bad day" so I planned him outside for a walk, we went to the cemetery, we threw chestnuts, it was much easier for us then than in 4 walls.

  • 26.07.2016

    We also have a rebellion, also almost two years old, although I think I am quiet at the moment 🙂 I use the methods you described, I am not in favor of leaving a child alone. More 😉

    • 26.07.2016

      With us, it intensified at the moment of going to kindergarten - apparently it is a big change that the child is going through. Yet? Well, I will probably leave the teenager talking 😉

  • aga
    Reply
    25.07.2016

    although I do not know you, looking at your photos I think you are a great mother and after reading this post (and several others) I confirmed myself :))

    • 26.07.2016

      Aguś, thank you very much, I try to be the best version of myself, I am still learning 🙂