Weekly Retreat - What Did I Learn About Myself?

seclusion Agnieszka Kudela

I knew for a long time that material things do not give happiness, or do give them, but for a short time and then raise the bar of happiness higher, but during those 6 days I felt enormously and almost physically that ...


my happiness does not depend on what I achieve, what I wear, what car I drive or who I know. I understood again and again to the bone that all these are just means to realize my values, which I realized even deeper.


You can read about why I went to retreat at all in this post.


So what did I learn during the 6 retreat?


I'll start with the assumptions.


I went to retreat for 6 days.


I left without my husband, children, anyone I know, without my phone number (I only took an unknown number from my home alarm to one phone a day to children for that purpose). Without a laptop, internet and camera. Without any dress or high heels. With two pairs of sneakers, three pairs of sweatpants, two sweatshirts and one pajamas.


I left to look inside myself in a safe, supportive environment. The whole process I took part in is kept secret for the comfort of all the people who took part in it, that's why I will write only about myself.


What did I learn during the 6 retreat days?


1. I thoroughly learned my values

Leaving for retreat I was after a self-diagnosis of the value that I made myself two years agowhen I was getting ready for a great change in my life - the birth of a second child and the dream of introducing the idea of ​​work-life balance into my everyday life. Then, on my list, there were 3 main values, 3 signposts that helped me a lot: family, health and safety. Only after fulfilling them, I added a fourth value - personal development.


In isolation I understood that family is just a way in which I realize the true and greatest value in my life, which is LOVE for me.


Health and safety have remained, but I saw personal development as spiritual developmentwhich I noticed as much more important than the first one. I realized that I could give up my personal development but not the spiritual one. It connects with freedom for mewhich is also very high on my list of values. Guided by spiritual development, I feel at home and make all decisions more confidently.


And all the rest? Everything I surround myself with every day? These are very useful and necessary tools that I can use to go to work, support my family, take care of health, safety and rest, and also make some good for others.


2. I felt what freedom means from distractions

It's amazing how much happiness I managed to feel in the middle of the forest, walking the fourth day in the same tracksuit, without any attribute of today's success, even a phone in my pocket or other expensive equipment that so often defines human value today. And no, I didn't drink alcohol from morning till night 😉 I didn't drink it at all.


I felt like I could fully relax without unnecessary distractions, which I admit, in recent years have dominated me too much. I noticed that the tools that were supposed to be helpful in everyday life became a torment for me, and continuous, uninterrupted contact with the world and information coming from everywhere, instead of giving me joy and breaking the boundaries between people, in fact limits me very much. In addition, just as it endures, it also builds barriers between people and additionally stresses me.


For years I have lived with the feeling that I want to reply to all messages and e-mails as soon as possible, and I have several hundred messages on the e-mail every day (of course not all of them require replying, but the selection itself took ages) and for years I have been starting every day by filtering the mail and dividing it e-mails and messages to which I can even write back that day ... to be too often at the end with remorse that I didn't do everything I planned.


After returning, I uninstalled many applications on my phone and turned off most notifications. Now when I look at the phone, I do not see missed calls, text messages or e-mails, let alone notifications from the application, until I want to see them - I will not unlock the screen. I decide when I get notifications, and they don't decide when I hear them. Amazing feeling.


A in urgent cases you can always call mealthough here too I used the personalized "do not disturb" mode after 22 p.m. Let me know in the comment if you want me to develop the topic of my minimalism in using the phone and the application today. I'm even thinking of going back to ... a landline.


3. I liked myself like never before

I felt that you could like me without knowing anything at all and just laugh and cry for a change. For sure, therefore, for the same reason, you can not like me the same, and there is nothing wrong with it or all the more such a need. That is why I send greetings to the world so that real people around me can surround me, because in my company they just feel good, want to give themselves and get me in return. It is much easier for me to look back at all completed relationships and let them go completely. After all, it always makes room for a "new" one.


Thanks to that I also liked myself much more than ever before. I also know that I want to develop and cultivate this feeling.


4. I made friends

I used to like to repeat the sentence "who is not your friend today has never been one". Today, I think that is completely stupid.


We change so dynamically that sometimes we have a problem to keep up ourselves, so it is not surprising that people who surround us, undergoing similar changes, approach us and move away, sometimes emotionally and with professed values ​​so far that our friendship simply ends. Often, just as spontaneously as it began.


In my retreat I met the extraordinary women who gave me tremendous strength. They let me feel fully accepted despite the fact that each of us came with a different story and at a different moment in our lives. No matter how our lives unfold, these 6 days have become so close to me that I can say that today I feel with them the invisible thread of understanding that I dare call friendship.


With full responsibility, also taking the risk that this thread of understanding does not have to last for the grave board, I want today, instead of being afraid of tomorrow, giving it and drawing joy and strength from it, sharing hardships and successes, supporting and growing together. Here and now - this is the only thing I have a real influence on, losing myself in the moment that lasts like last weekend on our girl's trip.


I remember a few years ago joking with myself that I would advertise "I'm looking for a friend from the heart" because there is no such puzzle in my heart. Today I feel that it has been fulfilled in the last 4 years, and thanks to the retreat it has completed.


5. I felt where happiness came from

I felt mine happiness is less dependent on external conditions than I was convinced of.


I felt that I can give happiness and a sense of security to myself - liking myself, feeling sorry for myself, being here and now focused on what I feel, what I think, what I hear, what I see, what I experience and what I don't, but also relaxing meditation, meditation in motion, prayer.


I have been practicing prayer since I was a child, but meditation (in the meantime I finished the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course) has taken such a special place in my life that I try to start my days with a conscious breathing session and end with relaxation, during which I feel so blissful peace and letting go of all disturbing thoughts and emotions that I just fall asleep before the relaxation is complete.


A new chapter in my life

I have been practicing prayer since I was a child, but meditation (in the meantime I finished the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course) has taken such a special place in my life that I try to start my days with a conscious breathing session and end with relaxation, during which I feel so blissful peace and letting go of all disturbing thoughts and emotions that I just fall asleep before the relaxation is complete.


Do you want to try?

And if you want to try to be alone with yourself, leave behind everything you value today, pack in a small suitcase and spend a few days even in a bathrobe. WITH on Mother's Day - the Lansinoh brand has prepared a weekend trip to the SPA for you to win. Just in time to soothe your soul and body, that you could give yourself time and space, to stay here and now, maybe with a good book at hand, although there aren't really any rules of the game except ... 3 days in the SPA.


To participate in the competition is enough write the answer to the contest question on the Lansinoh Fanpage at the competition, then until the end of Saturday, May 25.05.2019, XNUMX. On Sunday we will find out who will go to the women's SPA.


I am dreaming of

And what do you think about such isolation? Would you like to try, do you feel that this is not your fairy tale?

Leave a comment:

  • 14.11.2019

    A great idea! I practice mindfulness for less than two years and I am aware of how amazingly it helps in everyday life. I just can't imagine a week without kids, so far it is unreal for us 🙂 but for the future as much as possible!

  • 01.11.2019

    You made me curious about this idea and I must honestly admit that I wanted it all so much that I will include it on my New Year's resolutions list. Even a weekend away from "everything" would be a good idea to get to know yourself better!

  • Ewa

    Hello, where you can get more information about such trips (isolation), who organizes them. I feel that I need it the most now. Best wishes. Eve

  • Ola

    great entry

  • 26.07.2019

    I read this post carefully and thought that I was just missing something like that. everyone is at a different stage of development and accent, and I think I need to learn a lot about myself before accepting myself completely.

  • 11.07.2019

    It is important to cut yourself off from the hustle and bustle of everyday life once in a while, listen to yourself ...

  • 24.06.2019

    sometimes a person needs to isolate himself to look inside himself 🙂

  • Andrea

    To be honest, I wonder if I should not give up everything and go for a week among nature. I have a stressful job right now. I'm also building a house. I started additional studies. And everything accumulated, I don't have a little rest, everyone wants something from me. Technology eats me (I work at the computer all day at work). Besides, I'm slowly starting to feel burnout, especially since I haven't been on a decent vacation for almost a year. It seems to me that such a trip would allow me to sort everything out.

  • 16.06.2019

    Beautiful views in the picture!

  • 28.05.2019

    Rock ago I left alone in the Bieszczady Mountains for a week, maybe not literally because to Ustrzyki Dolne, so I had access to the urban area, but most of the time I spent on the way, between forest paths, field meadows and country roads which I sometimes did not see on the map and stated - okey , then maybe I will turn off the main road and see where it will lead me - I have a supply of water, good mood, thus being open to people, I'll always go out a hell somewhere. Usually these were super clearings. Did this trip give me anything? Certainly it raised a bit of self-esteem that I am really a good organizer of my free time. I can take care of myself in a way that is compatible with myself. Due to the fact that I do not have a smartphone and the keyboard phone is the internet, I only have to check ztm pages. waw and nothing else, so no problem here. Concerned friends wrote to me whether I was alive 😀 I took photos too ... it was a hard time for me then. Because I interrupted a series of 6 unhappy jobs that I had in that year, until in September I found 7, the most suitable job for me, which I have been in until today ... So I not only achieved the dimension of peace, I knew the area very well after 6 days and I knew how to move but then I finally found a job for myself. Although I spent a lot of money on this trip and later I had to limit even the nutrition issues a bit, I do not regret it <3