Our evening rituals with two children
Our beginnings with two children could be described in one word - spontaneous. The whole family influenced the irregular lifestyle of the Newborn, but after two months we managed to work out the rhythm of the whole family. How did it look like then and how did we manage to find ourselves in an extraordinary, unknown reality with two children, which surprised us much more than the one with one child?
I wrote this post when Mikołaj was less than 3 years old and Maks was less than 3 months.
You will not find stiff hours here, because we are still flexible and try to recognize in Santa the best moment to go to sleep, thanks to which he will not be too tired and cranky, and on the other he will not roll from side to side for two hours, boring that he does not he wants to sleep.
What is permanent in our rituals, however, are successive trials whose protagonists are three-year-old Mikołaj and three-month-old Maksiu.
The evening ritual begins with Mikołaj's dinner around 19-19: 30. We always let him choose what he wants from around three different possibilities. I laugh that we give him an apparent choice - we ask what he wants to eat for dinner, instead of asking if he wants to eat it. We all know then that bedtime is approaching, so before dinner is ready, we clean up the toys and watch a bedtime story together - since Mikołaj turned two and a half years old, an evening fairy tale is our ritual.
Initially, I bathed Maks once every two days, but I noticed that he sleeps much better when I bathe him every day - I think it's a matter of rituals. That is why we bathe children at one time and in one bath, or actually ... in two - I will explain everything to you in a moment.
At Mikołaj I tried bathing in a bucket, thanks to our friends we had even two different models at our disposal, but our son didn't like it at all and buckets were mainly used for removing laundry from the washing machine. This time, with Maks, I bet on Shnuggle bathtub, which combines the advantages of a bucket and a bathtub - it is tiny, almost like a bucket, also provides support for the back, and the water in it pushes the child upwards, relieving the spine and warming the child on each side, while, just like the bathtub, it allows the Child to stretch his legs in front of him (Mikuś This is why he did not accept the bucket - he kept his legs straight in it and shot out of the bucket like a slingshot), it is also tiny and does not take up much space in storage. Since Maks is two months old, I don't bathe him in anything else.
And how do I bathe my children together?
I pour water into a large bathtub, put Mikołaj in it and put in this little bathtub, into which I also pour water and put Maks in it. So they bathe together, but separately - which gives Maks more safety and comfort for me - I do not have to support him in my arms. The boys spend an amazing time together on a bath together and have a great time - Santa helps me bathe Maks, entertains him, these are such special moments! Bathing is a great relaxation and fun, then we are usually four of us. It is amazing to see how each day the Children get more and more contact with each other. It's time for jokes and laughter and water games with my brother, mom and dad.
In the photos below, Maks is one year old - you can see that he still fits perfectly in this bathtub.
This bathtub in combination with the stand will also allow you to comfortably bath your baby after childbirth, when you do not dream of bending down and you are not allowed to carry loads - the bathtub itself weighs only 400 grams, and you need very little water for bathing, about as much as the baby weighs. . You can successfully move it even with water from the bathroom to the room. Initially, when I had to bathe the children by myself, because I was staying with them for the evening without Wojtek, I put the bathtub on a stand in the bedroom, where I had an eye on older Mikołaj and I had no problem bringing water to the bath myself.
And if you have a smaller apartment, you can place such a bath tub, for example, on the countertop in the kitchen, and spread a changing mat next to it and arrange a changing table.
3. After bathing
When we bathe the children together, Maks always comes out of the bathtub - I wrap him in a towel with a hood and take him to our bedroom on a dresser with a changing table - you can see our changing corner in this post.
The evening care of our children's skin is deliberately very modest - if our children's skin does not require support (it is not dry or irritated), we do not use any skin care cosmetics. If something is wrong - I only care for irritated or dry places. Today, both Maks and Mikuś have beautiful skin and complexion without any support (and we even struggled with AD). If you are interested in our Kids skincare, you can read more about it here.
On the changing table I try to stroke, hug and kiss Maks a lot, and if he is in the mood, I also give him a mini-massage. However, if he starts crying, I skip this point and get dressed quickly. In summer, Maks slept in one layer of clothes - in a romper, now in autumn and winter he sleeps in two: in a bodysuit with straps and in a romper or a romper. Santa, on the other hand, sleeps in one layer of clothes both in summer and winter: in summer, on warm days and at nights, in short, two-piece pajamas, and in winter - in long one.
While I prepare Maks for bed on the changing table, in the bathroom Wojtek and Mikuś finish their bath, brush their teeth and come to our bed in a towel. Mikołaj already dresses in pajamas himself. When Maks was born, after putting on his pajamas, Mikołaj… jumped under our covers.
Before the birth of Maksia, Mikołaj had been able to fall asleep alone for a long time, initially in his cot in our bedroom, then in his cot in his own room. However, when little Maks sleeps with us in the room, often falling asleep while feeding in my arms, I would not be able or would not refuse Mikusia similar closeness, which is why since the birth of Maks I have let him fall asleep with us in our bed. I think this is one of the reasons why Santa's Little Brother is fun and another factor that allows him to be closer with his parents, and not a reason for jealousy or a sense of rejection. Thus, every evening I land with the Children in one bed, and Dad often joins us at least for a while.
4. Falling asleep
Since Maks has appeared, Mikołaj's ritual of falling asleep has changed - we don't have so much time for reading fairy tales or singing. Since we fall asleep in one room, and Maks usually falls asleep faster, our singing and laughter simply woke him up. That is why Mikołaj can choose every evening whether we will read a fairy tale, tell a fairy tale or sing songs. Meanwhile, I simultaneously feed Maks, who is falling asleep, and before I put him down to the Mosaic bin, where he will sleep further, I am waiting for him to fall asleep really badly. When Maks lands in the basket, Mikołaj has me only for himself. We hug and pray quietly, and thank you for what happened to us and ask for more.
About what our ritual of falling asleep looks like when Maks is 16 months and Mikołaj 4 is years old, I will write soon.
Of course, it happens that despite our efforts to be quiet, it completely fails us (Mikuś) and wakes Max. Then I suggest him to go to sleep at his place, but Mikuś asks for a "second chance" and the three of us try to sleep again ...
After a "second chance" the situation repeats itself often and then Mikuś asks for a "last chance" and we fall asleep again ...
What helps us fall asleep?
We also have several factors that help Children fall asleep faster - holding a hand, holding a head, a humming bear or a playing lamp allow us to calm down and fall asleep. Yes, sometimes I also fall asleep, especially before Mikuś.
After the evening rituals, even if Mikuś has not fallen asleep yet, I get up and take care of the house, myself, I spend time with my husband. The evening is our time, the time of adults, so I try to make sure that the evening rituals start around the hour 19-19: 30, so that from the hour 20-20: 30 have a moment to charge the batteries for the next day. When we go to sleep, we take Mikuś to his room, which does not mean that he will not come back in a moment or a few hours :-). That is why we have installed a railing on my side of the bed - thanks to which none of us, at least on one side of the bed, does not fall off.
Of course, Maks doesn't sleep all night from birth, he wakes up to feed every 1,5-3 hours. There were also such nights when he would wake up crying every few to several minutes (unspecified problems with the tummy, with emotions, with tension). In addition, since Maks entered the third / fourth month of life, his demand for food has increased significantly, hence the lactation crisis and feeding almost all the time behind us, but you have already read about it in this text.
Soon you will be able to read about our way of sleeping through the night - through Maks ... and through us 😉
And how are you?