Will you have a emperor? Just don't tell anyone about it!
Even if you have indications for a caesarean section, for example the gluteal position at the first delivery, for a narrow pelvis or discopathy, you know that a threatened and burdened pregnancy will have to be terminated ahead of time so that the baby is more likely to be healthy, or you all happen at once, absolutely don't tell anyone you're likely to have a cesarean!
If you know me a bit, you know that whenever there is a choice, I will always support the one that is closer to nature, more eco-friendly, without unnecessary modifications. I undoubtedly support the idea of natural births. Preferably at home, with your favorite music and candlelight. But it's not always possible, it's not always safe, that's for the best. More and more often, children are born who would never be born without the intervention of medicine or pharmacology. Unfortunately, their mothers very often fall victim to other mothers-terrorists ...
That is why today I will tell you why it is sometimes worth biting your tongue and even if you only suspect that your baby will be born by caesarean section, simply do not admit it to whomever he misses. Otherwise, you'll learn things after which your life may never be the same again ...
You will learn that:
- You are a bad mother! The baby has not been born yet and the whole world shows you that you are already angry. And you won't even have a baby. Yet the emperor is not childbirth.
- You are afraid of delivery. And this is shame and shame. Those who give birth are not afraid of anything and nothing!
- The emperor hurts a lot more than a natural delivery. Of course, childbirth hurts above all during a cesarean section after the fact ... Many mothers will tell you about it, especially those who only had a caesarean section. They know best.
- For sure you have no indication for the emperor. Your doctor is wrong, and this friend is right. Or a neighbor. Or your mother's neighbor. Or her neighbor. Just see point 2.
- Sure The child is not arranged at all gluteal, that's the only way you wrote in the pregnancy card. Because of course you are afraid of giving birth. And the entry in the pregnancy card obliges. Before giving birth, they will not do any tests for you and this scam will only come to light when they open your stomach. Don't worry, you'll say it just turned around.
- You don't want the best for your child. You are selfish and only think about yourself. Because… you are afraid of giving birth.
- You had to pay a lot. Because you certainly don't have indications for the emperor.
- You will have problems with breastfeeding. And at your own request. So you'll be a bad mother.
- Your child will have problems. With everything, and it's just problems. You will learn that children after caesarean section have problems with balance. With playing sports. With a touch. They are tearful and rude. They have colic. It is best to sign up the child for rehabilitation immediately.
Or maybe you won't be a real mother at all? You didn't give birth.
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I wanted very much a parent naturally. It was my dream. But I did have pregnancy poisoning. doctors did everything to keep the pregnancies up to 37 weeks. And it worked, but it was not an easy time for me and the child. At 37 weeks, doctors began inducing labor. I was tired for a long time. During delivery, the baby's blood pressure was getting weaker and weaker, so the doctors decided to have a caesarean. We saw that our child would be small, but it turned out that it was too small to go out on its own, especially that there was a pregnancy poisoning. I know what it is, labor pains, I know what it means to have a cesarean. I am angry with the doctors that my parents were stubborn naturally, I know I wanted to, but I was tired during pregnancy and I knew that I would not be able to do it and I told the doctor that if necessary, let it be Empress. I went to the emperor in tears because so much suffering was for nothing.
I did not see the child after the delivery, he was immediately taken and went to the premature babies ward. Yes, for premature babies, even though the birth was 37 weeks old, but Wago was a premature baby and he couldn't breathe on his own yet. The worst pain during childbirth was that I couldn't see or hug my baby. And that's not the end of a bad story. Due to the anesthesia I got labor contractions, I suffered from terrible headaches after giving birth. The pains were so terrible that I couldn't get out of bed, let alone go to another department to see my child. Doctors even banned me from walking so that it would pass faster. The headache was terrible, but the pain of not being able to see my own baby was even worse. I used to go to my child anyway, but I couldn't even hold him because I knew that I would not be able to hold him. After a week, the decision was made that something should be done and so it got to the point that they had to rut me in the procedure and again crammed into my back.
After giving birth, I suffered from postpartum depression. I did not accept myself, what if my belly was hanging over the wound and this huge scar, and worst of all, I felt sorry for the child that he could not come into the world as nature wanted. I had and I still regret that I could not see or touch the baby after giving birth. The truth is that nature did not want us, and if it weren't for the emperor, I wouldn't have had a child and you don't know what would have happened to me.
After what I have been through, I can say that I prefer to tire and have labor contractions than a cesarean. Many women do not think that Caesarean section saves lives and so many women and children live. Every birth is a birth. No matter how the baby is born, the most important thing is that it comes safe and sound. Every mother is great because she gave her child life. There is no worse or better birth. It is said that babies born with a caesarean are worse, and what about babies born naturally into the world and therefore have problems because they have cerebral hypoxia or broken bones because the midwives had to take the baby out of the mother. Each birth is difficult. Each birth has advantages and disadvantages. But every woman has the right to say what kind of delivery she wants. In the end, we have no control over what the delivery will be anyway.
The first pregnancy, gestational diabetes and hypertension, large child 4700 and this was the main cause of the emperor, and so I still hear that if I wanted to give birth, because someone had a 5kg child
I sympathize and hug 🙁 until we accept it fully ourselves, it will be hard for us ... today, after so many years, I want to laugh at others and at what they say about themselves in such comparisons. Ears up! You gave birth exactly as you were supposed to give birth <3
It is very sad that women can be so cruel to themselves. After all, it does not matter whether a cesarean or natural childbirth - how can it be valued in this way at all? Better for the baby to be born with defects, as long as the delivery is natural? What nonsense and some home-grown wisdom ... Texts like yours are very needed.
Thank you! It is probably only today "without shame" that I tell you that I gave birth through cc, I was born this way myself, but I still have to explain, as if the interlocutor needed to "settle" me, was it really a good decision, whose decision it was at all mine or doctor), on what basis, and sometimes I talk to someone for the first time in my life 😀
Only truth! I am at the end of my first pregnancy. The attitude from the very beginning was that I give birth by the forces of nature. Emperor? Absolutely! One: this option gives me the chills, two: I've never had any surgery so the stress would be enormous. And here, like a bolt from the blue, on my last visit, I only heard that "You can't make it". Disproportionate and too much risk for Bobo and me. I left the office in horror, and soon tears did not come to my eyes, but well, I accepted it and was optimistic, because the child's welfare above all suffering and inconvenience. However, as you wrote, there is not much to tell about it to outsiders. Point 2, 4 and 7, I immediately heard the question "How". Well, people are what they are, and those who have no idea about childbirth, contraindications, and risks associated with it, will talk and think their own way, because they know better, and that's the medium if only to talk against everyone else. The most important thing is not to worry about what people say, because that's their nature. Listen to your doctor and your heart's voice 🙂
I fully agree with you. I felt terrible after cc and I had huge problems with taking care of my little one, fluctuations in moods did not help and although today he laughs at all those pranks, then I was completely laugh and I was unable to distance myself from it.
I am 23 years old and in my first pregnancy. On the other hand, I am afraid of natural childbirth and I have always known that I would not want to give birth naturally. This is the beginning of my pregnancy because it is only the fifth week but since I found out that I am pregnant, I can't stop asking myself how it will be, of course, my husband tells me that sometimes I exaggerate but I do not think so I realize that it hurts a lot, but if however, I will think about "hurting my crotch", I feel faint and immediately get nervous and cry.
during pregnancy hormones go crazy, maybe even change their mind several times, the ground is to do what you are convinced, then everything goes easier 🙂
This is my 4cc, we were aware of the decision about the next child and the risks associated with childbirth, but we do not give up the solution for this week. She was in the hospital for a few days and the head physician told me that I would not be admitted a second time in the ward because I am a walking bomb and fortunately the most important voice in this matter is the attending physician. The words hurt too much, but I don't give up ... I have to admit that I'm getting fat, but in every pregnancy I get so much and lose weight
What a sad story 🙁 unfortunately the medical staff can be very mean 🙁 I hope it's all behind you and you are a happy family complete <3
Mum with M.
As soon as I realized that I was already pregnant, I was overwhelmed by fear of childbirth ... I had nightmares even before 20 weeks of pregnancy. It is normal that a woman is afraid of it because it hurts. In the birthing school, I came across a vocation-midwife who helped me overcome this fear and I didn't even think about it in the form of such a bad thing anymore. But it was during the end of the pregnancy that I had a lot of pain in my pelvic bones. A check-up visit to measure the distance of the pelvic bones and BACH the emperor is getting to the bones as soon as possible! Fear because this is an emperor for which I did not prepare myself mentally. But I am thankful that I did not have to be in a plaster cast after giving birth to sleep and my baby is alive and healthy! and the only thing that matters is that the mother and child should be healthy and happy, not what kind of delivery it is
PS, my arrival after CC went very well, I expected worse pain and meanwhile I endured it better than I imagined 😉 Ah well, and all people hearing that tomorrow I have CC said great you won't have a match ... Right ??
exactly - you cannot generalize, but I have been suffering terribly for this, but I do not praise any pregnant woman - it will not change anything.
Being in my first pregnancy and after giving birth, I can clearly see the terror of other "better" mothers. First, a million pregnancy superstitions: don't eat this, don't eat that, don't carry it, and what a big belly you have - maybe twins. .. After the delivery I thought it would pass but it was only worse. I couldn't breastfeed and I was feeding mm. I heard that every mother would breastfeed her baby, I didn't try enough, etc. Now I am in my second pregnancy and history repeats itself. I thought I would care less about other people's talking and now it makes me even more irritated !! One thing I am sure, every mother loves her child and wants the best for him. Nature is not always favorable to us, but we try, and when we naturally have a parent or feed it is not difficult. The most important thing is that we have someone to get up at dawn and love more than life <3
exactly, it's important to find your way and be happy, don't look at others and try to live the way they want.
I also have a line of happiness and I am not ashamed of it am I tried rehabilitation and other methods to make the parent sleep but at 9 months the orthopedic doctor put my hopes out… .. I can't sleep and I need to cut… now, I have an operation on my hip… maybe then I will have a better chance in my second pregnancy to see what it is like to give birth naturally 🙂 Regards
"Line of happiness" - aaaaaaa but a wonderful name! I will never say otherwise 🙂 good luck with the operation: *
I gave birth through CC. Third party comments didn't bother me anymore after the endocrinologist commented on my pregnancy - "Why did you get pregnant with cancer?" As much as I felt - "And why do you come into my bed with boots?"
Dear, I hug you tight! I miss words ... Congratulations on this bold decision, it is definitely the best one, because yours <3
I insisted on doing naturally. After 26h, however, the doctor said that I could not cope because the child was too big, the head was already sticking out. So they made me CC. As a result, I was finished after 26, it hurts me on my delivery bed and I ached after CC. I don't know how to plan a second pregnancy.
Oh you must have been exhausted. Probably the child was so low that it was impossible (good or not at all) to measure the circumference of the head and predict such ending. I think that in the second pregnancy you will rely on a doctor, on your intuition and make the best decision.
I wanted and even wanted a parent naturally but after the pulse disappeared at the little girl landed on the table. The fact that the scar disfigures but I didn't hurt or hurt and I was very scared. I wanted to breastfeed, I fed a little month and then the baby switched to a bottle. And I am happy that it happened I have a healthy and beautiful daughter currently has 2 months and she laughs beautifully I am slowly forgetting about the drama that took place in my head on the way to the table :-)
Congratulations on the serenity and keep it up 🙂
my mother-in-law shortly after my birth said during the conversation: (I quote) "you did not give birth, they took the baby out of you" ..... I will leave the rest without comment. These words hurt me for a long time …… But then I found out that she is just a "stupid woman"…. and no, I won't care. The scar that will remain on my body until the end is the scar that gave life to my son - I love him unconditionally !!! I'm a Caesarean mom and I'm not ashamed of anything. I did not plan such a course of labor, I had no influence on the decision about cc. And surprisingly, meet my mother-in-law I have never met with critical comments, for example from people who are not related… As you can see, sometimes a stranger may turn out to be kinder than a loved one…. Say goodbye to all moms and you Agnieszka
I have no words to comment on these words, but I can perfectly imagine how they must have hurt. But you are right, stupid people are not worth worrying! However, we know well that after giving birth, when hormones go crazy, it is even more difficult to implement this wisdom.
After natural birth, I envied those women who had cesarean. I really don't understand why natural birth is considered better. In the hospital, it was possible to recognize which mother was giving birth - those after cc walked slowly, but quite normally, those after natural childbirth like ducks. For the first month, I could not sit up normally (the seam almost half my ass), I was afraid to sneeze, cough, and to pee I had to step under the warm stream of water in the shower ... Not to mention this heavier physiological activity, because it's almost a trauma . And hemorrhoids as a gift. And in the child there was asymmetry of the cerebral ventricles, because it either did not get enough oxygen or had a slight bleeding in the brain due to my pressure. Probably the only negative thing about cc is the fact that you can't take your baby in your arms right away (in my not entirely objective opinion, because I don't really know what a cesarean looks like and how long it takes to recover from it).
You are 100% right about a biased opinion, because each birth is different and ... it's good where we are not nie
That is why I am most amused when women discuss which one had the worse, the one after the cc or pn ... especially as each one has only one type of childbirth behind her.
So I am happy with a healthy child, a return to form (although it was not easy) and the fact that I did not have to make a choice as to how the pregnancy will end, but I fully gave this decision to the doctor I trust. However, I regret that I could not distance myself from all these comments before. Fortunately, I can do it today 🙂
I am sure that your delivery is only a bad memory, and Dzidzia makes up for everything 🙂
Exactly everywhere it's good where we are not and every delivery is different and every organism tolerates it all differently. I envied my mothers again after Monday which the next day were speeding down the corridor and I walked bent in half. But I didn't survive the natural delivery and I can't compare. No matter how you are born, only that our babies are born healthy. PS I was also afraid to sneeze 🙂
My Dad told me the secret of what to do in order not to sneeze - press on his nose and hold - it works !!! I have been using it for a long time 😉 And the health of Children and ours must always come first!
Hello, 13 hours 30 minutes of suffering, pain in the cross, I gave birth to a nightmare, it would not be bad if the stitches did not mistake me and there were no external soluble infections, etc. but I quickly recovered. 2 birth twins from the middle of pregnancy, practically hospital hospital, threat of support, then last month I had a bad feeling in the hospital, I didn't want to, of course, the more so because there were 4 childbirth operations and nothing ended after 2-3 hours by myself I asked the head of doctors for a caesarean after all, one baby has a transverse position, they didn't want to listen to anything, only it naturally came to the fact that I gave birth in 40 weeks miracle, how is it possible, the more so because there were 2 attempts to induce labor with oxytocin, I could not feel the head, but there were no contractions, another oxytocin, even an attempt to pierce the fetal bladder, but the doctor was afraid because the caesarean head was too low, I felt terrible pain, I felt every sting, even humiliation and shame why? I do not know to this day, maybe because everyone is wearing a beret that a cesarean is not childbirth? but ... when I gave birth to my son, the doctors got to their daughters, I heard the disbelief in their voice and the words "God, the umbilical cord would not be born". 3 more doctors were called because, if you could not see it, they talked before I was deaf about the consequences of giving birth natural, i.e. tearing the umbilical cord, my baby's death, or both of them, I was shocked when I started sobbing the anesthesiologist of doctors silenced me for a long time, I was recovering for a long time, my stomach was stretched, the skin was lying on my knees, sores on the scar, I couldn't get up I slept sitting on a midwife chair They helped me in everything, but I will say this is what the parent wants, of course, if I will someday, but I would like to have a choice as to how I want to give birth in the future, so that there would be no Middle Ages, so that doctors or midwives, apart from research, would talk and explain what is involved then, although young mothers would be easier
I had a Caesar because I wanted to.
I didn't breastfeed because I didn't want to.
From the month of pregnancy 4 I was already sitting at home.
After three weeks of "giving birth" I was recovering. My mother and husband were a great help for me. However, the desire to take care of the baby was greater, so I asked them to let me feed her, change and cuddle her while not leaving the bed.
Since birth, baby has been sleeping alone in his room. She has been sleeping through 2 hours at night since 8. Now it's 14 months, it's about sleeping about 18..00, about 5.00 cylinder, nap, about 6.00 wake up, throw the toys into the cot and to 7.00 can take care of yourself, then do not have to get up :)
The child has never had a colic, develops properly, is not overweight, zero digestive problems.
I went on a one-year maternity leave, then an overdue leave. I suspended extramural studies (I was too greedy and I had little time spent all our 3). Now I have decided to go on parental leave. Work will not escape, the only thing I can miss is promotion, pay rise, you can live without it. My husband is growing, gathering experience, he is promoted, I am happy with him. You need to tighten the belt but the nursery is also not free. Nursery, I will send a child to nursery. Not now, next year. But. First half of the day, then the whole day when I get back to work, of course in the office.
Since 14, teddy bears spend every moment with my child, I get to know the world with her, teach new things, take care of, help. And kids, I leave, I start missing right after closing the door. I decided to put aside everything else women dream about these days, but I'm BAD MOTHER, because I was born by emperor by choice, and I didn't breastfeed.
People can be cruel, as I found out in the hospital… that's why I agree 100%. Better just not to speak up. Even when people see you as pathology, because you had a baby when you were well under 30 and you look 18 ..
For the first time, comments on anything on the blog, unless everybody sometimes needs to take their credit for it.
Very Bad Mom
Thank you for sharing your story. As I read this, I have one thought in my head: after all, closeness is not the same as natural childbirth and breastfeeding. It certainly helps, but it is not the only condition! We know that if it is correct, natural childbirth is generally better for both mother and child, but there is also something like mother's intuition and if my friend tells me that she wants to give birth only through cc (she is afraid of pain, afraid of complications in the child, complications at home, she is afraid of another loss of a child, or she simply does not want to say why) then I tell her to find out about natural childbirth as much as possible (sometimes we are afraid of ignorance) and if it does not change her feelings - she should follow your intuition. I do not judge, but I support her in her decision.
You can breastfeed and be a insensitive, closed parent, and you can feed a bottle and be a great caring mother to meet all the needs of the child.
What is right is right, the worst is when such women get together and start to talk and "advise" sometime cc probably it was done rarely and hence such thinking, I believe that intelligent people and those who know what empathy will never say to any woman who gave birth cc because it is out of place and you just have to mix it up, because the most important healthy baby, I do not focus only on cooperation with the midwife and medical staff, because this is the only time that can help me 🙂
Oh, you are very right, today it makes me laugh, but an absolutely new situation in which a pregnant woman finds herself, and the hormonal storm does not facilitate rational thinking 😉 and I congratulate you on your wise approach!
I gave birth twice, I have beautiful, healthy and well-developing sons, so for the difference of how you gave birth, it is important that our child is healthy. Let me just mention that cc was not my whim, but the doctor's decision during 2 H natural vaginal delivery (first labor) and the risk of uterine rupture during the second delivery. He won't comment on horrible comments ... because I don't even know how to say that.
I know something about it, I had a cesarean unexpectedly due to the dramatically deteriorating health condition and the first thing I heard after waking up in the room was "How much did you pay?" Then I had problems with feeding (through the cesarean, for which I probably paid), my baby had muscular tension (also through the cesarean). And so I struggle with all the views that clearly claim that I am a bad mother. Only when my baby looks at me with a smile, I know that for him it doesn't matter how he was born, or whether I breastfed him or not. My love is the most important. Bad mother's love 😉
Oh, so loved you have 100% right, just a pity that sometimes this wisdom and faith in yourself, in yourself as a mother comes so late! PS, how much did you pay? 😉
Sometimes I prefer not to speak on children's topics, because here everyone is right. It is a pity that not everyone keeps it to themselves or with tolerance approaches the opinions of others. I was born naturally, but I was put on buttocks, I turned around two days before delivery. Midwives suggested the emperor, but not because of my position, but because of her age. Everything ended well, because my mother found a great doctor, but I am glad that now there are possibilities and knowledge that allows me to react in every situation. Besides, not every buttock position is the same.
I am terribly disarmed by such situations and texts, because instead of encouraging each other in this difficult period, only women add stress.
You have 100% right. It's a difficult time when every woman needs support, a new uncertain situation, fluctuations in hormones can be overwhelming enough, you don't have to add anything to it. Maybe this is a good time to re-evaluate our relationships with friends?