Where do the terrorist mothers come from?

mother terrorist parenting blog

Terrorist mothers are particularly easy to identify on the Internet. Anonymity or not saying something while looking at another person's eyes favors such phenomena. But I bet that they are also close to you, only this type of terrorism loves to hide under the guise of good advice ...


Personally, I believe in the natural good of other people, so if they behave inappropriately, I try to look for the cause of such behavior.


Spending a lot of time on the Internet, which is a mine of sociological events, as well as among other mothers in real life, I began to wonder more deeply - where does so much venom in us, Mothers? The subject fascinated me so much that I had to add a theory to it.


A short history of mothers of terrorists


Young Mothers


First of all - after pregnancy (pregnant with the rest), every mother has a huge swing of hormones, which is associated, among other things, with getting rid of a huge organ, which is the placenta, which secreted a lot of substances into our body for 9 months. For this reason, and not only, so often in the puerperium, and also later, we observe mood swings in the mother, baby blues or even postpartum depression.

Secondly, probably every new mother feels an inner compulsion to be the Best Mother in the World. If not constantly, at least sometimes. Only for unknown reasons, this compulsion usually spills over into being… the Best Mother for all Children. Also for your child!


Crazy hormone fluctuations and the urge to be the Best Mother in the World make it very easy as a mother we lose control over self-esteem. When all this is accompanied by tremendous fatigue, stress related to the new situation, it is not difficult even for a momentary breakdown.


Raising your own well-being becomes worth its weight in goldand the faster the method the better. And so, although no healthy mind and aware of its worth feel better harming and diminishing others, I think it is very easy for Mothers to fall into such a trap.


Older mothers


The second group of mothers on whose side we are exposed to terrorist activities are women of an older generation than us. They often have their hormonal fluctuations behind them, unless they are just menopausal, I feel sorry for them. These mothers have in their minds, often already gnawed by the tooth of time, an idealized image of a good mother who refills her child with water with glucose, gives her dill tea from birth, bathes every day, does not wear it so as not to get used to it, embarrasses her to empty herself. There were other times and the picture of a Child jumping while driving in the rear seats of the car did not surprise anyone. And now, when such a Mother from another generation visits us and sees that the Child lacks glucose, she cannot even cry because she is still on her hands, and in the car she has to drive tied in the belts, it is so close ... she can feel really lost. Suddenly, all her practices are ridiculed until her vision of herself as the Perfect Mother is personally threatened.


Here we have an additional aggravating element, because even if we are right and the Older Mothers are wrong, they have already raised their Children and what? It turns out they were doing everything wrong? How come! They did the best in the world out of love, just like their friends and neighbors. In the best of faith. You are wearing too much! And your milk is too skimpy.


Matoterrorism can thus develop explicitly or implicitly


What are the differences?


Latent mother terrorist conducts an internal monologue focused on the depreciation of other mothers. In her head such thoughts usually sit and make up:
How can she sleep with a baby! How can she sleep with her husband! How can she bottle-feed! How can she let a baby hang like that on her breast! How can she keep wearing! How can she not wear! How can she have a cesarean! How can she give birth naturally! How can she get back to work! How can she send a child to a nursery! How can she be so attached to a child! He definitely has skim milk!


Public terrorist mother she conducts the same internal monologue as the latent terrorist mother, but she also shares her thoughts with other mothers in the form of so-called gossiping, or throwing her thoughts in the face of damned mothers.



In my opinion, in every case the reason for mother terrorism is one thing: the low self-esteem of the Terrorist Mother.


Therefore, when you are attacked again by Mother Terrorist, remember my words. Instead of taking those often difficult words personally, remember that in fact it's just a defensive reaction from a person who has low self-esteem. And don't get caught up in this game.


This text is ironic and has not been consulted with a doctor or pharmacist.


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  • Paulina Żubkowska

    My son is now 3 and a half months old. The health situation in the family forced me to travel with the little one, when he was 3 weeks old, to his homeland, 300 km away. I was too weak to stay in a family full of women, mother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin, etc. Take it back, pick it up, like you dressed it, too cold, too warm, put on a hat, headband? A bath in a large tub? It's not allowed. He is definitely hungry and will not eat enough, you have poor food, maybe he is not good at it? You will go, and if you are gone, I will give him glucose, I was broken and unhappy, I dreamed of returning home ... in addition, I was maximally possessive about a child and, what is worse, I felt satisfaction when he cried for everyone, and not for me and my husband. Terribly selfish but true. In fact, it affects a young mother terribly, when I returned home I told my husband that they won't see me there for a long time. But fate decided otherwise, 2 weeks later we were there again for the same reasons. And they were the same, and I already knew what to expect and I went stronger. But you know what I'll tell you? Maybe I'm a terrorist mother, maybe not, but when I hear "you know, I breastfed for 3 weeks, come on, he goes to get tired, I know it's the best for him, but I was tired", I think what kind of mother you are ... of course he keeps his opinion for myself, after all, everyone does what they see, but I think as I wrote ...

  • Beata

    Amazing text. I am only pregnant in the 7th month, and all these "good advice" aunts and mums are in front of me. I didn't even think about this "good advice" in terms of terrorism 😀 but your text describes it sensational, really. The best we can do for ourselves and our little kids, who also observe such situations, is to keep a cool head, calm and self-control, not to be manipulated and drawn into a discussion - a snarl 😀

  • Sakurro

    Great entry! For me, "... because he will get used to it" is a hit, but my husband and I have learned to ignore it, we even joke about it often. If I had taken these "good advice" to heart, I wouldn't have endured it nervously 😛

    • 23.12.2015

      Oh yes, "because I will get used to it" is a hit 😀
      Don't wear… don't feed so much… don't entertain… don't pick up… addictions lurk at every step 😉

  • 11.12.2015

    I would add one more group. Mothers who have children 1-2 years older than yours. I am currently getting a huge amount of good advice from friends who have just finished maternity leave and are trying to educate an unconscious future mother.

    • Iza

      I agree. There is no group of mothers with older children, preferably two or three. They know best ... In my opinion, Younger Mothers are not terrorists, but themselves are terrorized. Through those mentioned earlier ...

    • 09.05.2016

      hmm ... I think that you are right, although I got a lot from my children literally a few months older ... that I gave birth not like that, why do I have a match with kp, what is mm, why I don't give a banana when a child already has 3m ... yours not sitting yet? does not eat fish?

  • 11.12.2015

    Too skim milk is the best! Young mothers don't move me (it's easier to oppose them, or say nothing and do my own thing), but Older Mothers ... I haven't given birth yet, and since the beginning of my pregnancy I have been constantly hearing from my family's Older Mothers how bad and hard it will be for me, how terrible I will make mistakes and how should I raise my child. And being offended, because They Know Better, and I can't test myself, because Your Modern Methods. After all, we raised you and you are healthy and happy, so it was definitely the only effective way. And my favorite text, when bringing toys / clothes / later, probably also sweets for the Child, "I know, honey, that you asked me not to buy, but I couldn't resist, it's not for you for a CHILD."

    Sounds pretty funny, just how not to get caught up in the game if your opponent is a loved one.

    • 11.12.2015

      Everything you write about is very close to my heart. On the other hand, I was more affected by young mothers in whom I probably wanted allies for too long and too long. It strengthened my conviction that I was different, that I did not belong to this good group, that I could not manage.
      And scaring ... that it will be so hard, that it's not like in the advertisement. That everything will change. For the worse, of course. A man dreams of a child the most in the world and does everything to have him, and hears on all sides that it is a total plowing! How crazy is feeling! Sometimes I laugh that people who say this want to keep the best for themselves, because although raising a Child is undoubtedly a huge effort, the reward is incomparably greater.It is as if someone at the peak of our motivation was telling us - hey, don't run, no eat healthy, it's so hard and tiring!

      And how not to get caught up in this game? If the opponent is really difficult, then my only working way is to let in with one ear and with the other. without coding in your head, without analyzing, without commenting. Only effective.
      If you see an opportunity to reach an agreement - talk, explain, show. I press books ... my mother has already read a few little smart books and in many respects she is delighted with my approach, she regrets that in her time there was no such access to this information.

    • 11.12.2015

      Your comparison of upbringing to a healthy lifestyle is great! Indeed, when we take care of ourselves, we also bear different costs, we do not always eat what we like the most, we get tired and sweat while playing sports, but it does not mean that such a lifestyle does not give us fun and does not make us happy . I will remember this comparison and I will repeat myself, when someone again wants to motivate me with the hardships of upbringing ;-).

      I cordially greet you and wish you, me and all mothers a lot of strength for mothers-terrorists of all ages 😉

    • Beata.m

      I always ask in such moments, what, I wish you had a child? 🙂 of course I hear that no. Then I say that I will certainly not regret it even if it is hard 🙂

    • Beata.m

      In the sense I ask you do you regret and not regret. My phone changed 😉