I am not a superhero #1

I wanted to tell you today that I have the same as you ...
Although I like bright photos, smiling faces and order in the frame, perfectly planned weddings and quality at the highest possible level, though I'm trying to share with you all the positive and good things I have, it doesn't mean that ...
... I'm always smiling and cheerful, I'm not worried or sad, I don't have life disasters, motivational and life holes and big holes, that I have time for everything, never neglect the company, children or friends, I always look good, I have perfect order, I know the answer to everything and I never fail.
I also have bad days in my life, even weeks or months. I usually only close myself up in order to lick the wounds in a safe environment and come back to life, not on a shield, but with a shield in my hand.
All because I'm… not a superhero.
I am a person who has been exercising his mind and positive thinking every day for years, like others running or riding a bike ... by the way, I train it mainly because my brain is a lazy beast that is just waiting for my moment of forgetfulness ... me, even catastrophic thoughts.
Fall of form
I used to be afraid to write about more difficult moments here so as not to worry my colleagues or clients. I was afraid that my weaker moments would, consciously or not, translate into our cooperation, I was afraid of its effects.
Today, the decline of form seems to me the most natural thing in the world. I even think that we need more difficult time, just like the easier one.
This time, from the excess of events in the ass also got my health, first physical and later the second. However, I gave myself time to this sadness and right to feel bad. After all, how was I supposed to feel when I had to not only worry about myself and my children, but also give up my big career plan and cancel important plans? This is only what I can say here, the tangle of difficult events was enormous for me, but I will keep it only for my family, out of respect for its privacy.
The level of stress in our lives
you know stress level test in your life? You mark events that have taken place in your life during the last 12 months on the list. Events are ranked by the most stressful, and each is assigned a number of points. I like to do it every few years to get a better picture of what is happening in my life, to measure it all and organize it. When I was solving it a few months ago, I collected over 400 points ...
I also gave myself a deadline by which I can pull myself together - the end of August 2018. Until then, I allowed myself to smear myself at will, but I entered September with new plans for health and more.
It is also interesting that two months ago I could not imagine that I could slow down a bit. The night at SOR showed me how much I can and even must and you know what is the most important? That the world is not over!
Nobody took offense at me, nobody turned away from me, I didn't fail any important project, and I could fail those that I could fail.
Yyyyy, but why do I write all this?
I am writing to you to tell you that I HAVE SO MUCH.
I also have bad days, weeks and months and my life does not always look just like that our photos on Instagram - although I love Instagram, I know that these are just frames from our life movies. Your too. Frames that cannot be put together, or even a small trailer. We cannot forget it!
Don't get me wrong either, I have no regrets for not taking photos of themselves in difficult moments or not sharing them in social media - I'm absolutely ok with that, not everyone uploads photos right after waking up or writes about their own problems with infertility, a broken friendship, a crumbling marriage or a career on the turn, if only he does not feel like it. I I got out of the house the habit of reaching for the camera when I want to remember it for a while, because it is funny, special or beautiful and I put only the most beautiful photos in my memorial albumand I tore up the ugliest. Probably it is also influenced by the fact that I used to take about 36 photos a year - as many as the number of frames the film had and they were fully selected frames that I wanted to keep in my memory forever. I know that today we treat our Instagram mostly the same way.
My faith
I also believe that a change in life and my development is necessary, often so completely independent of us, unwanted, fearful at the very thought of it. And when it comes, it only saves me belief that although I can't see the whole picture today, it will definitely go to the good. Even if this good was primarily to be our development and life wisdom.
Do you know when I learned it? In the most difficult period of my life. I had to be able to continue living, because one thing is certain - I also know what it is like to be happy and I know how important it is to enchant your mind with good thoughts every day. I really believe that good thoughts bring us good things… bad thoughts too.
And I wanted to tell you today that if you are drowning your sorrows in a tea or glass of wine and you think that it doesn't happen to others, others always succeed, then know that I am the same as you and I know this hopelessness as much as you do. I have over 400 points on the stress scale and I have no idea how to lift this weight. I may feel worse and I give myself the right to do so.
I also know that each of us can get up and fight for ourselves. However, it is worth giving yourself time to sadness and regret that it is not what we would like that life gave us a nose again, instead of pouring champagne.
Instead of ordering a built-in wardrobe for the bathroom, I packed my family and we are just going to a small, white house in the countryside, licking wounds, enjoying ourselves, fishing and running barefoot on the grass. Happiness is not something that was yesterday or something I am waiting for tomorrow. Happiness can only be here and now.
The rainbow only comes out after the storm ... I'm just looking out for mine.
bathroom accessories
great tips 🙂 I love your blog
Jola
After these quite sad reflections so beautifully put into words I am full of admiration of your person. These words give comfort to each subsequent woman, lost. Wonderful blog I often reach for advice 🙂 I wish you all the best and a lot of health! greetings
wenko bathroom accessories
badly needed post. It's good to know that everyone is having a bad day, that everyone is affected by helplessness, stress or helplessness
Agnieszka
thank you - that's exactly how it is 🙂
Kinga
Once upstairs once downstairs. Yes it is. Then I'm just going to take a hot bath. I close myself with a good book.
Recently, I was drawn to the book Lord of Thunder
Carolina
Very good entry 🙂 You need to take care of yourself, to be able to take care of others. Yoga and book help me and less time to think about problems. Some things are not affected. Greetings!
Ewelina
Hello!
our momentary weaknesses can be our strength. When a person is down, he usually feels like he is alone in all this. Good thing there are blogs and scial media to know that others may also be having a bad time. Then a person looks uplifted because they know that they are not alone in all this. 🙂 Many, many things pass in life. And this "bad" condition as well. You just need a little patience and support. Finally, I would like to point out that it is important to listen to our body. Perhaps your body has long ago given little signs that it cannot cope; until finally one night you found yourself in the SOR. If it's nothing serious and you can take a positive out of it, that's very good. Sometimes it's worth slowing down. Regards 🙂
Ola
All your lyrics are so uplifting! Will you reveal how you train your mind every day to keep it from going back to these unhealthy patterns? Thank you ♥ ️
Agnieszka
Thank you Ola! And you know that I can't answer this question so quickly?
Rationally, I try to change catastrophic thoughts into realistic thoughts - I ask myself the right questions for this purpose, is what I think is supported by facts, by what facts ... and I see that most fears and unpleasant feelings are unfounded!
Monika
Unfortunately, there will be less and less sun. Added to this is the time of colds :(.
Agnieszka
We have no influence on it, so we have to act there, which we have influence on 🙂, for example, I start my day again with Vitamin D, with vitamin C, with drinking oil - alone, husband and children, and I believe it will be fine 🙂
Monika
Nice post. All my life I have taught people that I am a superhero and then feel sorry for them that they do not notice when I feel bad.
Agnieszka
Your words made me think ... I could also give the impression of a superhero myself, I don't like to talk about the hardships that I go through except for my loved ones, and thus others may think that nothing bad ever happens to us ...
Aga
Sometimes it happens..
stress at work
stress at home ...
I'm waiting for the sun ...
Agnieszka
Stress is a disease of our generation 🙁 the worst thing is that here we usually have to take care of the sun alone 🙁
Emilia
Nobody is and that is what makes us special.
Time for smudging is essential, contrary to appearances - it strengthens us.
Agnieszka
Oh yes… contrary to appearances, it does not have to mean weakness, but give us strength.
Daria
for me, the beginning of autumn usually ends with a decline in form. I already feel a slight runny nose and sore throat even though I'm not moving somehow especially from home 🙁
Agnieszka
I recommend a lot of raspberry juice, garlic sandwiches, low sugar (watch out for pharmacy syrups) and a lot of health for you!
Bianka
Exactly, I also understand it quite well. For me it is almost identical and this level of stress is constantly huge. Finally, improvement will come for each of us, but you have to be patient and withstand the stress. 😉
Agnieszka
You are right, this pressure makes us feel powerless, helpless, and sometimes it would be enough to change the perspective of looking at our situation. It's easy to say, harder to do when the avalanche of difficulties flooded us. But this does not mean that it is impossible, I can see the sun, especially in my head, because there is still a storm in my life.
Monika
Lovely post! I myself am very susceptible to stress and this, unfortunately, immediately affects my health ... I try to fight it very much, but for me it is probably one of the most difficult things. I think I'll try yoga 🙂
And I fell in love with your blog, started reading from our meeting at our wedding on September XNUMXst - and I'll keep reading! 🙂
Best regards from Germany ❤️
Agnieszka
Monika, but I have been honored <3 I am very glad that although you left, we stayed with each other for longer 🙂
It was a great pleasure for us to be with you on this special day and it was a real honor that we could take even a little stress off you.
I have been learning to fight stress myself and I am still learning - there is a lot of it in my work, as you guessed, but there is much more joy and love, so I found strength to fight unpleasant emotions - proven methods do wonders, and joy and your love make me float above the earth 🙂
Daria
since I am pregnant I spend more and more time on the sofa and I am terribly disorganized 😀
Agnieszka
forgive everything during pregnancy 🙂 it will end in a moment and nothing will be the same again 🙂
Urszula
I love your blog, I am very happy that I met you on my way in life. Recently I have a harder period and I was wondering how it is that others are doing so well and I what? Your entry as always comes in time with help for me .. Basically I know that everyone has worse times, but sometimes it is good as someone to us will remind you of that.
Agnieszka
Thank you, Uluś <3 you always give me wings <3 I am sending a lot of positive thoughts towards you!
Basia
I understand very much ...
my stress level is also over 400. Only so far I don't see any chance for improvement ...
Good luck 🙂
Agnieszka
I feel sorry for. I try to relax wherever I can, to not take on any new commitments, projects, do not expect too much from myself, minimize stress wherever I influence it, even if it's just minor things, add up.
Emily
AGUŚ !! I READ TWICE WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN ... ALSO WAIT FOR THIS RAINBOW ... AFTER NIGHT THE DAY ALWAYS COMES AND AFTER THE STORM SUN!
❤️ I KISS TIGHTLY AND WAIT FOR THESE BEAUTIFUL STILLS FROM YOUR VILLAGE HOLIDAYS.
Agnieszka
Thank you Emilko for your support and warm thoughts and words. I try to catch the staff, smiles and moments.