Where does indifference begin?

parenting blog raising a child

I have often written myself about how mothers terrorize each other, how to put their nose in them, criticize and dig up each other. But on the other hand, I still wonder where is the border between a terrorist mother and indifference?

Once, on one of the Facebook groups, there was a discussion about what to do when friends are feeding a newborn baby with milk from a carton? Increasingly, I ask myself whether to be indifferent when parents upload naked baby photos to the Internet? Allow your child to run naked outside? Or they want to pierce the ears of a baby for whom earrings are just incomprehensible pain and the risk of contracting some disease?

One thing is certain - how many people, so many borders. Decency, loyalty, sexuality, good taste. What is no longer certain is the answer to the question - where is the limit of human indifference? Where does clinging and sticking end, and where does concern for a man who cannot take care of himself begin?

It is very popular to say that "the mother knows what is best for the child", but is it really? I think it is more correct to say that "the mother wants the best for her child", but she does not always know how to achieve it. And knowledge, or rather the lack of it, is crucial here.

I myself made a lot of mistakes in caring for a child, wanting the best for my child, but not knowing how to achieve it. There is no school of "good parenting" and unfortunately the instinct combined with the lack of knowledge and many misleading messages coming from the world that is full of commerce is sometimes not enough to give the child the best.

Few of us know how to compose meals in a healthy way - I used the advice of a trusted dietitian myself, what ingredients to avoid in food products and why it is so important.

I can say that it is enough to read the labels and know what lies behind these not uncommonly complicated names and I am sure that every second person would throw half of the products out of their fridge, and certainly from the child's diet.

I can say that you only need to read about a young child's emotions to know that embarrassing them hurts the child, as well as making them feel guilty when they don't feel like eating. That the words "nothing happened" can lead a toddler to frustration, and in the long term to disturbances in the perception of signals from his own mind and body, to the feeling of being lost, because if nothing happened, when I was standing here the hell and crying! It hurts me, or maybe it doesn't, because I didn't hit myself when I fell off my chair, but I got scared! Because I'm sad or cold or I'm having a bad day. Because I do not understand.

I can say that there is more and more talk about the fact that slate is also beating, but somehow it is still not so clear to everyone.

I can say that knowledge lies on the sidewalk, but I know it is not. Because in order to reach for it you have to want. And in order to want, you need to realize that you don't know, or at least admit to yourself that you may not know, that maybe not everything is being done the best, and that you can still learn and become better. Do not follow someone else's ideals blindly, but read, talk and choose what is best for our family from the acquired knowledge.

Recognize that the mother may not always know what is best for her child, but may find out. Hence, let us not treat every conversation with different views on raising children as an attack, but a source of knowledge, exchanging views, which may sow a seed of uncertainty in us and motivate us to deepen our knowledge, and perhaps confirm that we do the best . And let's not discuss on the basis of emotions, "I think" or "my parents did that and I grew up to be a decent man, so this is a good method" or other finger-tipped dymals. Let's take care of a high-quality substantive discussion that will do us all good.

I look forward to your comments.

PS And if you want high-quality reading about parenting, perfect for the evening, for feeding or by the lake, I would like to recommend you to the latest issue of the ZNAK monthly, where you will learn, among other things, that:

"Education is about making mistakes,
it's just about committing them as little as possible
and try to fix them in time or,
if possible, withdraw from them. "

I have 35% discount for you on the newest magazine you can buy here by entering the rebate code: SPODKOCYKA. Just don't start reading when you have something important to do, because it will be lying fallow. I was lost ...

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